chronicles of a short person

There in the garden

2012-01-28T09:52:00.003Z

Yesterday morning I was thinking about Cat being away on the international outreach in London and I was struck that what they are holding out to these international students is not a faith system, or an ideology or religion, but Jesus. And that will start or continue a journey for all of them that brings them to either accept or reject the claims of Jesus recorded in the bible. Though in truth, as a Christian I believe that our choice to walk away from a relationship with God began in a garden, many years ago. How amazing it is that he still pursues us to restore it now!

There in the garden

There in the garden,

my shame complete.

I chose to take what

I did not need.

For all the riches

that I could want

had been given me in God

A piece of fruit

my biggest fall,

yet not the fruit

but my all in all

was what I lost

that cursed day

I chose myself over my god.

For the life he'd given me was good

though lacking every modern thing

In the garden, I walked with God,

After I only walked in sin.

There on the hilltop,

my anger raged

against a man from Galilee

As he lay there

nailed to a cross

he bid his Father forgive me

and with a cry

he breathed his last

yet there was love there

in those eyes.

I'd been so lost

but in that moment

I was no longer despised.

For the life he'd given up was good

so blameless that he took my sin.

On that hilltop, I looked on God

the God who took away my sin.

There on that mountain

when Christ returns

and every eye at last shall see

my sin forgotten,

my life restored,

he shall return in victory.

And this old Earth

shall melt away

restored to how it once was made

no longer strangers

but sons we'll reign

beside our God.

For the life he's given me is good

it will not tarnish nor grow old

but but ever draws me on to his day

when he will glorious, return.

TheWeeScottie

Everlasting God

2012-01-28T09:44:00.003Z

Some thoughts on how God is trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) a couple of Sunday mornings ago prompted me to write a poem. And it is this amazing truth of God being Father, Son and Holy Spirit that sets him apart for me as a Christian.

Everlasting God

There in the beginning

Before all things were made

Father, Son and Spirit

the one-ness of God displayed.

Enjoying each other

sufficient together

the Trinity lived as one.

The everlasting God just was,

The Father, Spirit and Son.

There in creation

the whole world was yours

created by your hand

alone as sovereign God you stand.

All power was yours

yet you chose to create

a people t call your own.

The everlasting God worked there,

The Father, Spirit and Son.

There on the beam of the cross,

you were there in all, God.

Though we heckled and spat on

the lamb that you sent down

and Jesus contained my sin,

while the Father was forced to forsake

and the Spirit waited to come

the everlasting God,

spent for humanity.

There at the end of the age,

sin then no more,

the Son will return

as burning hearts yearn.

Victory complete,

the Everlasting God still will be!

Satan defeated,

and us with God united,

for all eternity.

TheWeeScottie

Good shepherd

2012-01-25T07:14:00.003Z

Hey guys, I've been out of the blogdom since before Christmas but have been writing mostly poetry in the time gone by so I thought I'd post a couple of poem while I think through what my blog is for.

The first is about shepherd who finds on returning to the sheep pen that he is missing one of his sheep. Such is his love for that sheep that he leaves the other 99 and goes after the 1 that is missing. Such is his love. This is the story.

The good shepherd

The rain fell fast

and the wind blew cold

as the shepherd huddled

inside the sheep fold.

He counted once

and once again,

just to be sure

all his sheep were home.

But where 100 should be

only 99 stood,

So, taking his crook

and donning his hood,

He closed up the gate,

his love burnt like the sun,

and leaving the rest

he set out for the one.

The good shepherd walked

out into the dark night

searching the hilltops

by the guttering moonlight.

Every pasture he checked,

then when all those were through,

to the back-ways he went

looking pleasant and green

but easy to get lost

and lose where you'd been.

As darkness drew closer,

the shepherd ploughed on

the love in his heart

was the light that he shone,

til far in the distance

a faint bleat he heard

bursting into a run

by his lost lamb's cry, spurred,

and there on a cliff

was the sheep that he sought,

bedraggled and wet,

forlorn and distraught.

Then onto his sholders

the good shepherd hung

the poor tired sheep;

its master had come.

And back to the city

the good shepherd ran,

such was his joy at finding his lamb.

For though it was lost

in the darkness, alone,

the good shepherd came

and brought his lamb home.

TheWeeScottie

Compassion and restoration

2011-12-31T09:10:00.002Z

When John the Baptist's disciples come to Jesus to ask if he is the one who was to come, he tells them to watch and report back what they see:
'And he answered them, "Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them.'
All the things Jesus tells them to report on are restorations: the blind have their sight restored, the deaf have their hearing restored, the dead have their life restored and in the same sentence, the poor have the good news preached to them. Because this is a type of restoration as well, the poor in spirit have the life-giving good news of the gospel spoken to them. Their spiritual needs are ministered to, as much as the physical blind, deaf and dead. As Jesus meets their physical needs, he also goes on to meet their spiritual needs. Jesus knows what they truly need, but also that the physical is comfort for us. In the previous chapter we read that Jesus had compassion on a widow whose son had died and brought him back to life. This wasn't just a show of power, this was compassion. This section in Luke paints us part of a picture of who Jesus is; compassionate, knowing our needs and seeking to meet them as they truly are.

TheWeeScottie

The old and new of Flanders fields

2011-11-11T18:12:00.002Z

The old and new of Flanders fields
Many men stood up to stand no more,
Walked out knowing what lay in store
Drew courage deep from
wells they did not know they had
to walk the path that lay before
the path through Flanders fields.

And souls awake to life
so much more than some will ever feel
refused to bow and yield
but set their sight beyond their strife
and took their footing true and firm
to walk the path through Flanders fields.

As many fell, their brothers marched
more fiercely, sternly quickening on
the hour they lived in, come upon,
determination set and starched
to see their solemn duty through
and master Flanders fields.

Now present men and women serve
to pledge their lives to us protect,
let us in our memory not neglect
the price from which they did not swerve,
and say that we shall not forget
the men of Flanders fields.

A poppy worn, the past retold,
Those men and women, bravely fought,
and through their giving, peace have brought,
that sacrifice does not grow old
our lives are bought through those who give and gave,
who lived and died,
to make us free,
the old and new of Flanders fields.

TheWeeScottie

My name

2011-10-24T21:19:00.002+01:00

Enjoying worship on Sunday morning I had this reflection.

My name
My name is not Weary
It is not Shamed
Nor failure
My name is not Reject
It is not Forgotten
Nor Abandoned
My name is not Too far away
Neither is it Dirty
Nor Pain
It is not Enemy, Traitor or Insignificant,
Not Illegitimate,
Nor Estranged or Unwelcome.

My name is Loved,
And it is Son,
or it is Daughter.
My name is Unconditionally forgiven,
It is Grace-covered,
And it is Redeemed.
My name is Welcome,
It is Pure and Clean,
And it is Heir and Prince.
My name is White as snow,
It is New,
And it is His.

My name is Christian
And my only board is Christ.

I am eternally grateful that my identity isn't found in me. It's found in Jesus.

TheWeeScottie

Not made to be lone rangers

2011-09-30T07:00:00.002+01:00

At the end of the school day yesterday I was a little frustrated at how parts of the school day had gone. The difference came when I chatted to 2 of my colleagues after school and shared how the day had gone. How I'd tried to make it challenging and fun. How I'd got myself in a right tizz. How the children had not seemed to get on with what I'd asked them to do, being more interested in talking about Pirates of the Caribbean or playing 'it' at break time. Talking and listening to them made me realize that I'd given them something much too hard. And I'm not the world-fixing, all-child-teaching machine that I sometimes delude myself into thinking I am. I will get things right, and I will get things wrong. That's why I'm not made to be a lone ranger.

Thinking about this in the shower this morning I was reminded that if we were all lone rangers in our jobs, relationships, lives, we'd not be reaching the best in each situation. For example with Cat and I, who have been happily married for 5 and a half months now (:D), if we both just did our own thing, didn't ask each other for help, or leaned on each other at times we wouldn't be enjoying marriage anywhere near as much. There's a blending that's occurring where both she and I are learning to share what we both do best, learning how to support the other and finding that the more we do blend our lives together, the better life is.

At home, Cat listening to how much day had gone made a world of difference. In school, having Leigh and Viki listen to my rantings on the day and share their thoughts at the end of the day was a massive help, and I know that there are skills that we all bring to the table to make our school a better place. If we all just did our job without raising our heads out of the sand and looking around for how else we can use what we've been given, our school would not be the family it is.

All of this reminds me how we are all individuals. We have a unique blend of skills and abilities. We have unique personalities. We are in the places we are meant to be. However, I firmly believe we get the best out of life when we share the best that we are with the people around us. Life is in relationships. Friends, family, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, sons, daughters and children (in class or your own!)

We're not made to be lone rangers. We're made to be part of the great party riding out into the un-known. We're made for relationships. Sharing yourself can be hard, but it brings vitality to your life.

TheWeeScottie

Why can't the English weather just make sense?

2011-09-28T07:13:00.003+01:00

Over the recent Summer holidays, Cat and I joined a team for the Bournemouth International Outreach. The International students commented time and time again how they were amazed that the English weather could be sunny in the morning and thundering down with rain by lunch time. This song is dedicated to the bemused International students who visited over the summer.

Why can't the English weather just make sense?

V1
Oh why is it in England
that the sun is never here?
The rainclouds and the thunder
seem to leave the sun in fear
I'd give my two front teeth
and maybe two more from the rear
just to have a single nice hot sunny day!

Ch
For the rain is always raining
and the sleet it loves to sleet
our summer thunder showers
are decidedly un-neat
and prickling hail stones
just get under your feet
oh why can't the English weather just, make, sense?

Ch

V2
You go out for a walk
in one of those rare sunny spells
but when you leave your door step
there open up all hell!
your umbrella turns inside-out
and before you've reached halfway
you're soaked right to the skin
and wish you could restart your day

Ch

V3
And when it comes to holidays
you never can choose right
hiking's just a no-no
camping can be a fright
to hold out in a hotel
just makes you feel like a fraud
and the sun only really comes out
when you head off abroad.

Ch

V4
This curious weather system
can leave you in a spin
a hot and sunny day
can quickly change to snow and wind
those shorts you picked out for the beach
now give you chilly skin!
and wishing that it were another
country you lived in

Ch (final)
So throw out your cold weather clothes
get your hot weather dosh
sell off your welly boots
and give away your macintosh
abandon this weird weather that
leaves us in such a state
pick our that house in Haiti
let's pack up and emigrate.

(Post a comment if you'd like the chords :) )

TheWeeScottie

Autumn leaves

2011-09-27T18:42:00.003+01:00

A wee reflection on the way to and after school today about the changing colours of autumn.

Autumn leaves

Autumn leaves drift by my windowsill

each with their own story to tell

colours share their own history

preferring more to share than tell

Red reminds of rosy apples

juicy from their summer growth

weighing leafy boughs to bend

until they fall with Newton's grace.

Orange shares the burnished sunset's

golden glow across the sky

shading clouds so very high

stop a moment, wonder why.

Yellow spots remind of polka dots

on summer dresses waving in the breeze

chilling hidden knobbly knees

some wearers wish we wouldn't spot!

Green holds onto nature's one last stand

before the chilling of the ageing land.

Snows will beckon soon but not before

the autumn leaves show their last colour in store.

Brown breathes in the earthly depths below

sod and soil mingle with leaves, slow

like winter's passing into spring

old leaves die that new ones soon might grow.

Autumn leaves drift pass my windowsill

each with their own story here to tell

colours hinting at their secret history

preferring to rather show, than tell.

TheWeeScottie

Two days

2011-07-21T07:12:00.002+01:00

Two days

Two days til the ties can be hung up and the shirts put away

Two days til we watch the Railway Children play

Two days til the door closes and the holiday begins

Two days til my class moves onwards on the upwards spin

Two days til a friend ups sticks and moves away

Two days til the start of their shining new day

Two days til tears are shed, many and true

Two days til friends move on from me and from you

Two days til this old term comes to an end

Two days til holidays resting, we'll spend

Two days til a lie-in can be realised

Two days til a special person will wake up surprised

Two days til the end of a year's work, well spent,

Two days to show them the care that you've kept

Two days to wrap up the hours of the year

and only 40 days til September which soon will be here!

TheWeeScottie

Poem: Figures of eight

2011-04-04T06:33:00.002+01:00

Above one of the houses at the back of our garden there is a man who keeps homing pigeons, which he's trained to fly in figures of eight. Stunning and beautiful to watch. But you have to wonder, do they not feel a little dizzy after a while?

Figures of eight

Figure of eight,

Figure of eight.

All that you fly in are

Figure of eight!

By rights you'd get dizzy

And hit chimney pots,

Or get lost and land on

A crane by the docks,

or even fall into

Someone's pegged up socks

But somehow you make it home safe, never late,

After flying your figures of eight.

TheWeeScottie

Poem: Buzzing bee

2011-04-04T06:30:00.002+01:00

Sitting on the step down from my kitchen you get a great view of the back garden. Spring having recently arrived, we now have buzzing visitors. This poem's written about one such visitor.

Buzzing bee

What must it be like

To roam round my garden all day

Noisily making your way.

Visiting flowers

Like stops on the bus

Why don't you come visit us?

Buzzing your way through

The hedges and grass

Adding a flavour of class

To the yellow and purple

That grows on my lawn

Working to sunset from dawn

always the worker

You don't seem to stop

Except when the rain comes down,

plip, plop,

And away to your hive

You are gone in a buzz

Orange and black,

All covered in fuzz

Buzzing bee,

Why don't you come visit us?

TheWeeScottie

Song: One through your mercy

2011-02-19T21:44:00.005Z

Reading through 1 Corinthians over the past 3 months has reminded me of a number of things as a Christian.
1. I am a dirty, rotten sinner. I've grieved God's heart, and deserve to die.
2. I am amazingly, scandalously forgiven because of what Jesus did for me. This is totally undeserved. Nothing I do can change either that I am forgiven, or that I deserve this.
3. My identity is now in Jesus - not in my job, skills, status, state of mind/heart or future prospects. And that is unchangeable. I am now one with God. Amazing.

This song came out of thinking on that this evening. We're not lone rangers any more as Christians. We're one, but one with God.

The score for the song is downloadable at the bottom

One through the mercy (you've offered to me)

v1
Cut from your presence,
denied on just grounds,
a life in your goodness,
a sinner, but now found;
Welcomed entirely,
forgotten, my sin,
covered entirely
you welcome me in.

Ch
One in your body,
one in your love,
one in the sancified
state of your son
one now I'm ransomed
one now I'm free
one through the mercy
you've offered to me.

v2
Compassionate eyes and
wide open arms
welcome me to you, with
nail-scarred palms,
cost fully paid out,
justice complete
you beckon me nearer
to pierce'ed feet.

v3
Life now unlocked to
the fulness in you,
you beckon me onwards
to imitate you,
to shoulder your burden
and walk the hard path
but knowing that future joy's
mine through your love.

Download score

Download score with lyrics

TheWeeScottie

Winter's tree

2011-02-19T18:19:00.004Z

Walking back from town today after a lovely cup with Cat, I took a detour through Freedom Fields Park, nearby where I live at the moment. I love trees in the winter. They look like the bad guys out of a comic book about nature. This poem came out of enjoying time out with them in the park.

Winter's tree

As I walk home, there you stand;
my park companion.
Time and elements pass you by,
What's it like to live your life?
Twisted legs reaching deep,
Toes probing the darkness.
What secrets do you know?
Gnarly fingers stretching towards the sky
Can you reach?
Could you use a boost?
Light warms your arms,
swinging to the breeze,
Turning sunlight to shadow
Casting haunting shadows on the ground
Yet children play beneath you,
Couples carve their hopes in your bark,
Old men dream their lives away beside you.
Not so scary after all,
My winter's tree.

TheWeeScottie

Candle

2011-02-17T22:33:00.002Z

I've begun taking time out at the end of each day just to stop. To turn off everything electronic, go somewhere quiet, and just be. What a blessing it's been just to stop and 'be'! Lighting a candle last night before heading to bed, this poem started forming in my head.

Candle
My flame burns quietly,
But you know I'm there
Keeping you warm
Showing you hidden things
Dispelling the dark.
I don't need to shout
Or light up in a roaring inferno,
That's not my light.
I am small, but significant
My light casts shadows
And dispels them
It burns away the darkness
Replacing it with dancing light;
I dance for you.
Surely you see this?
My light is for you
I give it to you
Come closer
Feel my warmth
Let me light up your smile
Show you how much I care
Only don't put me out
Anything but that
Care for me
Nurture me
Help me grow strong and bright
Let me light you up more clearly
Don't be afraid
I love you as you are
My light only reminds you
What you already know
Nothing new
But my flame
Burning the darkness
Replacing it with dancing light.

TheWeeScottie

To burning, walk (not lukewarm, stand)

2011-01-28T07:11:00.002Z

A poem that came out of meditating on Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane where he told his father, "not my will, but yours". This poem is one man's choice to live it out, and its consequences.

To burning, walk, not lukewarm, stand

"Have your way," I heard him say

though half-heartedly at first.

Then gradually, increasingly,

he began to realise and see

that saying "have your way" was not

a solemn walk of drudgery,

but rather better that he'd panned,

to burning, walk, not lukewarm, stand.

His older ways now faded past,

their appeal lost to new desire

to kindle flames of dangerous fire,

to follow close the narrow trail

and down this pathway, oft' unmanned

to burning, walk, not lukewarm, stand.

Growing to live in sacrifice,

your way became his better best

and slings and arrows mattered not,

a simpler life, he would attest,

and choosing first your greatest good,

he burning walked, not lukewarm, stood.

And at the end, he turned to me and shared

"A life better lived, I can't compare.

I thought I knew, but his way was better

free from all my self-made fetters.

He taught me to walk, and now I'll run,

his arms are waiting, my journey's done."

With that, he left me there beside his bed

all he'd been no longer stayed.

Simpler trust to live out "have your way"

I've not seen to this very day.

A life lived fearless, bright as sunlit sand,

a man who chose to burning, walk, not lukewarm, stand.

TheWeeScottie

New song: Entirely by your grace

2011-01-25T18:44:00.002Z

Entirely by your grace

Beautiful grace,

what can compare to the risen son

to your holy one, Jesus?

Marvellous grace,

more than I ever can comprehend

the depth of your love is without end, Jesus.

Freely yours to give

and joyfully we receive!

Jesus, all of creation is by your making,

Jesus, powers and authorities you are shaking.

All of us, forgiven and welcomed to your fold.

Captives no more, we stand before you, entirely by your grace.

Scandelous grace,

you make this filthy sinner clean

at the greatest cost there could ever be, Jesus.

Perfect grace,

enough for my past and present sin,

even my future's been forgiven, Jesus.

Freely yours to give

and joyfully we receive.

Chorus

Bridge

And oh, I once was lost but now am found by you,

no more a slave, but now your own,

and nothing that I do can change the fact

that I'm accepted through your chosen one.

Chorus

TheWeeScottie

Better is one day

2011-01-21T07:09:00.003Z

A reflection that came out of the worship this morning at Waterfront. There really is no better place that I can be, than in God's courts, God's house, God's presence - and that is perfectly possible through Jesus.

Better is one day

Better is one day in your courts,

better is one day in your house,

than a thousand elsewhere,

away from your love.

Better the crumbs from your table

or the echo of your voice,

than the choicest of meals

or the world's 'wisest' choice.

Better the shelter of your shadow

or the peace of your touch,

than the greatest of wealth

or a lover's touch.

Better the love of the Father,

better the freedom of grace

than the closest of brothers

or a loved one's embrace.

Lord, I count it all nothing,

all the world bids me count dear,

next to living and knowing

your grace now and here.

'Better is one day in your courts

Better is one day in your house

than a thousand elsewhere.'

TheWeeScottie

Passion in performance

2011-01-17T20:32:00.004Z

Stumbling across this picture today, I was reminded about an article I read a while ago about a computer program that was created to play piano music. More than just play it note for note though, it was designed to play like a pianist. It was programmed to 'feel' the piece, judge the tempo, read the notes and attempt to read between the lines of the music. More than that, it was also programmed to compose its own musical scores.

They brought in a music critic to listen to a piece of music the software had composed and played, without telling him it was composed and played by a computer. The critic made a very poignant comment afterwards. He noted that the piece was complex, had wide variations in tempo (speed), harmonies and running themes, but that the piece had been played by someone who must have read it literally note for note. He said that the performance he'd just heard had been played immaculately, not a note out of place, every dynamic played to the letter, but the piece itself had no feeling, no soul.

This made me reflect on what a critic might see looking in at the Christian life. Do they see a dryly lived, legalistic life filled with rules, regulations and heartless traditions (by which I mean, traditions followed with no heart in them)? Or do they see a life that's made simple by the beauty of grace? So simple in fact, that which our eye not having to be 'on the ball' the whole time with following rules, that we show real joy in serving God - joy that is evident in the smallest of things like fixing a cup of coffee or doing the dishes, to giving up time and what we have for others. And with this joy in our service, our satisfaction in grace through Christ, the performance the critic hears is not one of dry precise notes, but one of colourful expression, sweeping the critic along on the journey of the piece, full of accidentals (incorrect notes) but sounding all the more beautiful because of them, the musician knowing that he has the freedom to make them and to enjoy the piece to its fullest.

When you watch a musician who's played for many years, who's come to know a piece of music by heart, you cannot help but get swept along in the performance. You can see how they feel the music, raise a hand here and there, knowing the lulls in the music. It can take your breath away. As Christians, as we walk closer with God each day, we grow to know his character, and as we know the reality of Jesus' death on the cross and his grace more fully, our lives take on more colour and vibrance. The accidentals of our lives now spur us onward into the piece, where once we would have stopped and maybe tried to backtracked in order to correct them and have the 'perfect' performance in our repertoire.

The glorious truth is this, that the piece we are expected to play has been performed perfectly by Christ. We now have the immense privilege of being able to have that as the crowning glory of our repertoire, and to play the piece we are playing now to the glory of the composer. No longer are we constrained by the rules of the piece, we can play it with joy and a real sense of freedom.

The 3rd movement of Beethoven's 'Moonlight' Sonata is one of my favourite pieces of music. Wilhelm Kempff (20th Century pianist/composer) plays it in this video. Enjoy :)

TheWeeScottie

Storms and eyes

2011-01-04T19:51:00.003Z

It's strange to think that the safest place to be in the midst of a roaring storm is in the centre of it. You'd think that the most sensible thing to do would be to distance yourself as far as possible away from it. But powerful storms often move at tremendous speeds, way faster than you or I could move. But instead, pushing into the storm, pushing through it, you reach the eye. An area of total calm. An place where you can watch the crazy swirling madness of the storm moving around you. A place of safety. A place of peace.

I find the beginning of term always feels like a bit of a storm to me. I take one look at my classroom, usually in a semi-abandoned state from the end of last term, and always I can feel the storm brewing. A look at the paperwork that needs to be seen to, and the storm's intensity grows stronger. Throw in the displays that need to be changed and the first day back around the corner and before you know it, the storm reaches critical intensity and you can feel yourself being swept off your feet.

The beginning of term reminds me how easy it is to let yourself get lifted off your feet by what's going on around you. It's so easy to let what needs to be done take your eyes off the goal, isn't it? Our work, a close relationship, preparation or big plans, all can sweep us away into the storm and leave us panicking and without a foundation to hold onto.

But along comes Jesus, who says to me in the midst of the storm, "I am sufficient for you." The storm doesn't lessen, but its hold on me does. I grab hold of the branch of a nearby tree. He takes a step into the storm and says, "I am your shelter and strength." I get both feet on the ground and start to look at him. Finally he steps next to me and says, "I am your shepherd. You lack nothing. Even though you walk through the darkest storm, you don't need to worry. I am with you." In the midst of the wind and rain, I begin to breath more easily. I firmly plant my feet on the ground and cling to him. Then he begins to whisper to me.

The storm rages, but I don't hear it anymore. The more I listen to his words, the less I hear of the storm. My heartbeat slows, and I realise that the ground that I'm standing on is firm. It won't be moved. And I can weather the storm.

So often, this is what goes on in my head when a lot is going on. I tend to get overwhelmed by many things coming together at once, and easily lose sight of Jesus. But stopping and getting my eyes fixed on the cross reminds me that I am his, because he chose me. I am accepted, not by being a teacher, future husband, son or friend, but because of Jesus alone. I am loved 'with an everlasting' love, because he loved me first. And if He put me here in the first place to teach, then he'll make a way to get the job done. He always does.

Bring on the new term!

TheWeeScottie

Humble pie

2010-12-29T08:23:00.005Z

It's very easy to talk about wanting to be humble, having a humble attitude toward something, or acting humbly. But what does it really mean? How can we become humble? What holds us back from becoming it? So often I think I can achieve humility, and then fall flat on my face as I'm reminded that I don't have a humble bone in my body - or an ounce of drop of humble spirit in my heart.

C.S. Lewis defined humility as 'self-forgetfulness'. But how do we forget put ourselves aside?

I've just started reading Tim Chester's 'The Ordinary Hero', in which he paints a vivid picture of how vital the cross is to our humility. Referring to Jesus, he notes that 'His life shows us humility; his cross humbles us.'

He goes on to quote Martyn Lloyd-Jones, noting that 'Nothing but the cross can give us a spirit of humility,' and John Stott:

'All of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there, at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size.'

Tim Chester goes on to state that, 'The secret to humility is never to stray far from the cross.' The cross shows us as we really are, in our sinful natures, and reminds us that we are pure and good enough only in Jesus Christ. Only the cross can humble us and shrink us to our true size.

But how do we not stay far from the cross? Lloyd-Jones encourages you to 'preach to yourself', applied here to literally telling yourself the truths of the cross. Bring yourself back to the cross, ponder it, remind yourself who you are in Jesus, because of Jesus, that you are sinful by nature, but wonderfully saved by Christ! I think we forget, all to easily, the beauty, wonder and scandal of the cross. Do we want to become humble? We need to look at the cross. Really look, and remember.

TheWeeScottie

My year in status updates

2010-12-26T14:45:00.002Z

Facebook has an interesting application that takes your most interacted-with status updates and turns them into a collage. This was, apparently, my year in status updates!

Click on it to see the full-size version.

TheWeeScottie

What is Christmas?

2010-12-25T23:10:00.002Z

What is Christmas?

"What is Christmas?" The teacher asked,

to his class as they sat on the floor.

"When you think of it, what comes to mind?

An excitement? A bit of a bore?"

The looks on their faces were mixed

as they all thought of Christmas day.

Some looking forwards and some thinking back,

others were miles away.

"The presents," one freckle-faced boy offered up,

many smiles taking his side.

"The snow," said one cheery-cheeked wee girl of eight,

"when it covers the fir trees outside."

"Decorations and tinsel!" the cries came in fast,

"Baubles!" and "Stockings!" "Paper chains!"

A raise of a hand and the chatter died down

as the teacher brough order again.

"My mummy and daddy. I, see them more,"

a shy little girl offered up.

A snigger was quoshed by the teacher's warm smile,

as he drank from his warm coffee cup.

"You know, Emma-Jane," (for that was her name),

"That's my favourite Christmas bit too,

apart from the story of one little child

who was actually quite similar to you.

He was born on a night, in the roughest of beds,

just his mum and his dad by his side.

No huggable teddy to snuggle at night,

just straw and a blanket beside.

No family came, nor a single close friend

to cuddle or coo at the child,

just some shepherds who'd left all their sheep in a field

and three strangers who'd travelled a while.

The children leaned closer, all starry eyed,

"Did the boy get no presents?" One asked.

"Well, not what you'd think," the teacher replied,

"each stranger gave one as they passed.

The first gave him gold," the boys' eyes lit up,

"The second gave Frankincense."

"Frankin-what?" several chimed, the teacher just smiled,

"It was used by the priests," he said.

"The last gift was Myrrh, which caused a bit of a stir,

as it was used as a burial spice."

"So they meant he would die?" asked the oldest girl, Vi,

"Well that's just not very nice!"

The teacher just grinned, as he wiped from his chin

the last cooling drop of his drink.

"Mr Smith," piped a child, "Y'know that baby boy?

He had it quite rough, don't you think?"

The teacher just nodded, the magic unspoilt

and lowered his cup to the floor.

A glance at his watch showed a quarter past three,

"All right children, line up at the door."

As the boys and the girls took their jackets and coats,

a hand tugged the old teacher's shirt.

And as he looked down, not a hint of a frown

crossed the beaming blue eyes of young Gert.

"You know, Mr Smith, all his presents aside,

I think he just wanted our love.

A kiss and a cuddle would have made him all smiles.

I reckon that'd be enough."

The teacher beamed back, picking up a stray book,

"That gift, might just go down the best.

It's funny how love in the simplest of things

says more than a lot of the rest."

As the children filed out, each parent to find,

"Happy Christmas!" in each parting word,

The teacher watched Gert kiss and hug her tired mum,

with "I love you," the last words he heard.

As he turned on his heel, a quiet smile to himself,

the story ran back through his mind.

A child was born, many years ago,

who helped a wee girl show love, in her kind.

TheWeeScottie

White Christmas

2010-12-24T22:49:00.005Z

Poem: White Christmas

For the first time in ages it's white at Christmas

as snow covers the world in its shimmering shroud

yet few take the time to stop and wonder

at the beauty that lies

by the side of the path,

on the street lamps,

along the branches of skeletal trees.

Sometimes darkening and black

hardening with crusty slush and salty dirt

lying abandoned by the busy street

its wonder trampled and forgotten in the shoppers' minds.

In some places heaped in frozen mountains,

at the end of airport runways and people's drives

seen merely as a hazard and nuisance

piled up on the edge of what we care about.

We might not even bat an eye at it.

But in few places, it still lies fresh and glistening

in the mid-day sun or crisp moonlight.

Each square inch like a thousand crystals,

their facets reflecting and refracting the light that shines upon them.

This is the snow as it was created to be.

Pure. Dazzling. Beautiful.

It makes dog walkers stop and watch their breath dance in the air.

The busy city worker taking a cross-country detour turns off the engine

of his powerful 4x4 and stares out the window.

Even the local takes a moment while washing up the Christmas dinner

to stop and stare.

The sheer power of a field of snow-flakes is breath-taking.

The power to stop a mighty city.

The dazzling beauty enough to cause the hardiest soul to pause.

The sheer whiteness of its frosty blanket

pure enough to cover a world's dirtiness and grime.

Christmas time.

White and peaceful, cold and crisp,

let us all remember this:

that while the dirt still seems to cling,

snow reminds us of one thing,

that while we stood knee-deep in grime,

God came and chose the perfect time

to come into our dirty world

all rights of God'ness, sideways hurled,

to bring the snow we really need

(He knows our dirty hearts, you see,)

to clean us once and once for all

so when the snow melts at his call

all that remains beneath is white

reflecting every facet of his light.

And saying in the mid-day glow,

"Friends, come stop and look upon the snow."

TheWeeScottie

New song!

2010-12-12T09:25:00.007Z

This song came out of reflecting on what the world offers us every day - what we're encouraged to rely on, strive towards, build our lives on & define ourselves by, and seeing that all of these things are transitory. They can be taken away in a single moment, our firm foundations brought to rubble and ashes. The chorus tells a different story.

Where is the righteous

the one who will light up the dark?

justice has fallen away in the land

and your word is barred.

Governments sway to the sickly sweet sound

of the world's dry voice,

poisoning ears so that much that we hear

gives us but one choice.

But our God lifts up the weary

his whisper drowns out the noise

a searchlight burning the darkness

to find and rescue us

All that we hear puts a spin

on the world that we see.

Nature is credited with all the wonders

that we can see.

Meaning is drawn from whatever

we choose to believe.

But when out foundations rocked

do we stand or fall to our knees?

It feels like there should be a bridge or final verse (or both!) here. Feel free to post your ideas as a comment :)

TheWeeScottie

Just as you are

2010-11-08T22:05:00.003Z

A reflection during worship at church last Sunday. I'm amazed, when I gaze on Jesus, that he accepts me just as I am; warts and all.

Just as you are

Draw near now,

come and bend your knee.

Humble yourself here, now,

bring yourself to me.

Every lying word,

every sordid deed,

forgiven by my blood,

come, let me meet your need.

Every lustful though,

every jealous wish,

washed clean by my son,

just relinquish

every worried thread

that weaves your knotted heart.

Let me come and heal

your soul in every part

and every warm embrace

every loving touch

will show you clearly here

that I love you so much.

Each time I draw you near

every word I speak

as a father to my child

not a misfit circus freak.

Every tear you shed

I'll wipe away and dry.

Every time I shelter you

my love will hear your cry.

Come, my child and kneel,

come just as you are,

for no matter where you've strayed to

it's never, never too far.

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Winter's dance

2010-10-31T00:07:00.001+01:00

Thoughts turn to winter, and this poem/song came out. Hoping to put a tune to it soon :)

Winter’s dance

The crisp night air, like needles pricks

At my tender fingers, numbing quick

And I sniff the breeze, feel the chill wind blow

On the thousand tiny icicles inside my nose

Soft white snow cracks beneath my feet

All those tiny little snowflakes all packed in neat

As my footsteps leave a tracker’s trail behind

Fading with the passing of time.

Winter’s sparkle, like fireflies

Plays upon my dozing eyes

And the icy breeze whips the autumn leaves

As I wander among the ghostly trees

With their trunks all rough and their fingers torn

And their boughs well worn

By the cold I know,

Let it sno-o-ow, let it snow.

Lakes stare back with their glassy gaze

While their icy shell creates a watery haze

The skittering echo of a stone as it skids,

The latest game of the neighbourhood kids.

And the snow-laden boughs of the nearby trees

Sing their dulcet melodies to the breeze

As you wander through their frozen land

Walking with winter, hand in hand.

The crackling fire in an old stone hearth

Defrosts all the toes that have walked so far

And a ruby-red glass holds a midnight’s cheer

As you see yourself into the next new year

With a handful of pledges you aim to keep

While Morpheus gathers you into his sleep

As the fire grows hushed now, and low

Winter keeps dancing on through.

TheWeeScottie

Looking into the sea

2010-10-25T22:58:00.005+01:00

One of Cat's recent blog posts set me thinking about this poem. Imagine looking into the sea. What do you see? What catches your eye? What sensations do you feel? How deep do you dive in? What might you find? Do you want to find out? Anyone can paddle in the shallows; few dive to the sea's full splendour.

Looking into the sea

I see water all around me.

I cannot escape it, nor avoid it.

It envelops me and gathers around me on every side.

I run my fingers through its smoothness.

It slows me down, but only just enough.

I close my eyes, but still I can feel it around me.

I see life all around me.

Shimmering, multicoloured, mysterious.

I sometimes feel I am dry,

that my skin lies dry and dusty beneath the sun.

But one look is all it takes,

to see the sea surrounding me,

supporting me on every side.

I can swim in this sea,

tentatively at first,

then, with stronger strokes

I dive into its depths,

discovering treasures in the deep,

crying, deep to deep,

louder than the roar of waterfalls,

waves and breakers roll over me,

washing me clean.

I look into the sea.

What do I see?

Your sea.

TheWeeScottie

Shall I not?

2010-10-25T09:08:00.002+01:00

I've just enjoyed a fantastic day of fellowship and teaching at Transformission, UCCF's South-West student equipping day under the preaching of Mike Reeves. A very encouraging and uplifting day. One of Mike's phrases stuck in my mind in particular: "Love is having a taste for the beloved... delighting and enjoying the beloved." Love is not service through guilt or contract, love is trying God, to "taste and see that the Lord is good!" This poem came out of the teaching this weekend of God calling us to enjoy him, and in doing this, not being surprised as our minds are renewed and our hearts are changed.

Shall I not?

Shall I not, with blistered fingers work,

or tell the world in full the things you love to show?

Should I not serve the church and never shirk,

ever giving to the family I love and know?

My lips, never in their serve, faltering be,

in loving many people, Lord, to you?

That they and I would come, to in your gospel see

your claims of sin and mercy, Lord are true?

Shan't I continue, full of passion, Lord to serve

ever giving of my energies to you?

and fill each waking hour without reserve

with deeds that bring the greatest praise to you?

Yet Lord, it's not my deeds that you desire

for should I try to earn your righteous grace?

Never! For what righteousness can sinful hearts sire?

How could a drop, your boundless sea replace?

No, you call me to draw near and taste your goodness,

to delight and to enjoy your precious son,

to look upon your beauty and your loveliness

and through your precious blood, to know, I'm won.

Andg growing, in your time, to love you Father,

my heart's desires, Lord, will be renewed.

Then, I will not help help myself, but rather,

live, in word and deed, in loving gratitude.

TheWeeScottie

Mission as a way of life

2010-09-21T20:09:00.002+01:00

6 years ago, if you had asked me what mission was, I would probably have replied that it was something we sent missionaries out to do, usually in other countries. 6 years is a long time, and I'm thankful for the friends God's blessed me with over that time. Namely, Cat. Thanks hun :) Stumbling into becoming a primary teacher has been an amazing experience, and one I feel very at peace and ultimately increasingly joyful about. When praying for our 'missionaries' from my church news bulletin though, I often felt that that was the norm. Mission's where we send people, right?

My thoughts on mission have changed radically over the last 6 years. My time in university showed me through the Christian Union that mission is a calling by God to share the life-giving gospel of Christ. The biggest revelation was the realisation that I have a mission field! For me, I've found that that mission field is my primary school where I work. That is where I can, purely by the grace of God alone, model Christ to people who don't yet know his renewing beauty, or the amazing grace he offers. Mission is not just a calling some are drawn into, it's a way of life we're called to when we accept Christ as our Abba Father, our Lord and Master, our God and King, our hope for the future. Mission is living out the gospel and its glorious ramifications of God looking on your every second of every day, and seeing the purity of Jesus' righteousness, instead of your sin. Mission is loving the man on the street, your annoying work colleague, your family as much as you love yourself.

Mission is impossible, without Christ. Loving Christ, Mission is beautiful, enticing, eye-catching, it instills a hunger for something far greater than what the world offers. It counts the world as dust and raises a hand to the stranger, holding out the beauty of the grace and infinite love that God offers for the taking. Mission should set hearts burning.

Mission; true gospel-centered, God-glorifying, self-sacrificial, Heaven-focussed mission is so beautiful, that people cannot help but look up and see something different. Joy in your hardest times, tears mixed with unshakeable faith. This is the unshakeable gospel we hold forth! A gospel built upon a rock, a lighthouse standing strong and firm and unmovable amidst the turmoil of the strongest storms. Uncertainty doesn't phase those with it - because its future is assured! The world's opinion doesn't matter to them - because God looks upon them and calls them 'my child'. Their security is never an issue, because the Lord provides all they need. Even when they feel blindfolded, the hand that gives perfectly, keeps giving perfectly to their needs.

Mission loves without want of love in return. Mission gives without thought of thanks. Mission is willing to be nailed up on the cross with Christ, amidst the scorn and mocking of friends, family, peers, colleagues, strangers, because it knows it has something so much greater. And this has to be shared.

Sunlight is a beautiful and fearful sight to a man who has known nothing but darkness his entire life. It intrigues, it scares, it burns & illuminates. In our mission field, wherever it is, we come alongside those in the dark and love them towards the light. Is your hand reached out, ready?

TheWeeScottie

Artist of the week: Steve James

2010-08-30T23:39:00.004+01:00

Steve James is a Christian artist my family have known for a number of years from back when we moved to the Wirral, near Liverpool and Steve was pastor at one of the local churches. He has a very easy to listen to style, and writes with often very poignant lyrics. Some songs are more congregational hymns, while others are clear reflections on God's character, often with reference to biblical events.

Personal favourites are Lazarus I (Rise again) & Lazarus II (Rise & Live), Christ your glory and May your words.

Lazarus I & Lazarus II, as well as his first 3 albums (now out of production) are available in mp3 format for free here.

Happy listening!

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Burn for you

2010-08-25T21:02:00.006+01:00

New song written in reflection of a comment Mike Reeves (UCCF) made on how our hearts often feel so cold, (even so soon after burning so passionately for the Lord while reading his word or talking to someone else about him) and how that is the Spirit showing us the coldness of our own hearts. I'm amazed at how gracious God is in showing us how cold our hearts are, and in allowing the Spirit to show us this, realisation dawns that it God's that's enabling us to see this. He is working.

In realising how cold our hearts can be, I wonder how often our response is not to despair, but to take heart that God has been so gracious as to reveal this to us, and to turn to God for a rekindled fire.

Burn for you

Burn for you.mp3 (Click on the 'Download file' button)

V1
My heart feels cold within me
like a flame that's guttering
why does the spark seem so small?
and even when I've met with you
spent time in your presence
my heart feels so cold

Ch1
But this block of ice beating within me
is warmed by your beautiful grace
and your light of your righteousness burns away
all the dark in me
as your light burns more brightly, illuminate
those things I hide
Though cold to the touch
your Spirit is warming my heart to burn for you

V2
Reading your word is often painful,
yet brings, with the aching, your balm
that reminds of the grace that you offered
wresting me from the devil's palm.
but then away from your word I can feel it,
this icyness cooling my joy.

Ch2
And this block of ice beating within me
is warmed by your beautiful grace
and your light of your righteousness burns away
all the dark in me
as your light burns more brightly, illuminate
those things I hide
Though cold to the touch
your Spirit is warming my heart to burn for you

Br
And this simple recognition
that this heart of mine doesn't burn
is a surefire sign that your Spirit
is opening wide my eyes to see the truth

Ch3
That this block of ice beating within me
is warmed by your beautiful grace
and your light of your righteousness burns away
all the dark in me
as your light burns more brightly, illuminate
those things I hide
Though cold to the touch
your Spirit is warming my heart to burn for you

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Scars

2010-07-05T23:10:00.002+01:00

A little poem that came out of thinking about the disciples in the 'upper room' when Jesus appeared to them.

Scars

Brothers share a lonely meal.

Someone greatly loved is lost.

Passion spent, uncertainty

creeps upon this broken host

as they begin to question all

they saw and heard and came to know.

Could all that held their heart enthralled

have betrayed hearts that loved him so?

Yet even as their shining hearts

begin to tarnish with despair,

a searing ray breaks through the dark

as he was suddenly standing there.

And he, who their hearts had sorely missed

raise open hands to greet his own

and scars, that speak of love's pure kiss,

wandering doubters brought back home.

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Lonely in Starbucks

2010-06-19T22:43:00.002+01:00

Inspired by my local Starbucks in Swindon which Cat and I have enjoyed cups of steaming coffee (and various other forms of coffee heresy) with good books. Something of an ode to times to come. This is for you, Cat.

Lonely in Starbucks

Verse 1

G D/F#

The clock’s running slowly,

Em7 G/B Csus2

As coffee-laced minutes fly by

G D/F# Em7

and though I’m reading my favourite book

G/B D Dsus4 Csus2

there’s something that’s not, quite, right

Em7 Csus2

A fa-miliar someone is missing

Em7 Csus2

And that space in the chair to my right

G D/F# Em7

Blows the dust from my tenderest memories,

G/B Csus2 D G

Leaving me lonely in Starbucks to-night.

Fill: (G, D/F#, Em7, Csus2) x 2

Verse 2

G D/F#

That espresso I ordered is cooling,

Em7 G/B Csus2

I guess I got lost in my thoughts

G D/F# Em7 G/B

The book that I brought is just sitting by the napkin

D Dsus4 Csus2

That the nice Starbucks waitress just brought

Em7 Csus2

To my table with a smile and a notepad

Em7 Csus2

‘How’s the coffee, do you fancy a bite?’

G D/F# Em7 G/B

But even the offer of millionaire shortbread

Doesn’t keep me from being,

Csus2 D G

lonely in Starbucks to-night.

Verse 3

G D/F#

I nibble the edge of my shortbread

Em7 G/B Csus2

As I down the es-presso in one

G D/F# Em7 G/B

Before noticing that trying to do both at the same time was,

D Csus2

in a simple word, dum!

Em7 Csus2

So I'm trying to mop up my lap now,

Em7 Csus2

While wringing out my favourite book

G D/F# Em7

Yet I’m still feeling lonely in Starbucks,

G/B Csus2 D G

Especially now with all these funny looks...

(Spoken: Hey, what’re you looking at? Never seen a guy wearing his coffee?)

Verse 4

G D/F#

So I’m sitting here in my Starbucks

Em7 G/B Csus2

All toasty, though little bit damp

G D/F# Em7

With a piping hot caramel mac-achi-ato, mach-iato, mac-a-hee-yato,

G/B

coffee beside me

D Dsus4 Csus2

my loyalty card all rubber stamped.

Em7 Csus2

And though the chair to my right is still vacant

Em7 Csus2

It won’t be long before she re-turns

G D/F# Em7

And we can once again share that cappu-cino

G/B

Ameri-cano, frapuccino, mocha-frocka-lato

Csus2 D G D/F# Csus2

or what-ever one it is that she yearns fo-----or

G D/F# Csus2 G

that she yearns for-----or

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

I preached to myself

2010-05-28T06:52:00.002+01:00

I preached to myself

So I preached to myself

and the Word came out:

"Be still, and know that I am God."

And I chose to be still and to listen, and look

Again I preached to my weary soul

and the Word came again:

"Why are you downcast, oh my soul?"

Your hope is rooted in him

And my soul was comforted and lifted

Once more I preached to myself

and the Word came again,

"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength" -

spread your wings and soar.

And I rose, and went.

TheWeeScottie---------------------------------------------------------------weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Trusting as a conscious choice

2010-04-17T00:08:00.003+01:00

Trust. It's a word we use daily and often with very good reason. I might trust that a friend will keep their word and meet me for lunch, or that the postman will arrive on time (though that's sometimes more of a hope!). When it comes to trust their is a reason why we trust. It is based on fact, on something we firmly believe, on evidence. I trust that my friend will keep their word and meet me for lunch because they have either met me for lunch previously or our friendship is such that their word is bond. As for the postman, we are blessed with a prompt postie and it's a rare occurrence when we have to set the cats on him. But this is an interesting point that I think we often stop at when it comes to trust, especially when it comes to trusting God.

We base our trust on the fact of a situation - such as the bedrock of the relationship or familiarity of a situation. Take the example of a difficult situation, say being made redundant. It's very easy to say to somebody 'trust God with this situation, he can strengthen you through it. He'll provide what you need.' Now first of all, there's awesome truth there which we mustn't forget: God will strengthen you through difficult situations and he daily provides what we need to sustain us. However, it is very easy to stop there. With the fact that God is capable of providing, or supporting, or sustaining through his strength and providence. But trust is a conscious choice that we must make. To simply presume that God will do something because he is capable of doing it cheapens the beautiful conversational relationship that God invites us into by reducing that relationship to that of a patient coming to a doctor for help when he feels he needs it.

The Casting Crowns song 'Voice of truth' puts it simply and beautifully when it says 'I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.' Choosing to listen, to believe, to trust is an active ongoing choice. Going back to the analogy of the friend coming for lunch, if you really do trust they'll turn up for lunch, you plan to get there on time (though not vital), pitch up and wait for them. You trust they will turn up, and you show that trust by acting on it consciously, allowing them time to turn up or let you know plans have had to change.

When it comes to trusting God, it is easy to recite passages about who God is, about how he strengthened biblical characters like Gideon at Jericho and Paul and Barnabus as they went around, but if we aren't consciously acting on what we know of God, working, striving, persevering in our situation, then that trust is a hollow statement of fact. A hollow chocolate egg - looking all sweet and inviting on the outside, but no real substance on the inside.

Going back to the example of being made redundant, and I appreciate that background and situation - single/married, renting/mortgage/owned - alter the human side of things, but God remains the same father, provider and shepherd that he's always been. You're reminded by friends that God will provide for you (true) and that he will strengthen you through the tough times ahead (also very true, praise God!). There's the fact, God will provide & God will strengthen you. Now comes the conscious choice in trusting. In the film 'Facing the giants', the illustration is given of 2 farmers being told during a drought that God would provide rain for their fields. They both said they trusted he would, however one farmer ran out into his fields and began digging at the arid earth and planting seeds. The 2nd farmer shouts out after him 'what are you doing?!' To which the 1st farmer replies, 'Preparing for rain.' The question I feel when it comes to trusting God is, 'If you trust God will provide the rain you need, are you preparing for it?' I thought about this recently with applying for jobs and was reminded that trusting that God will provide the right job for the coming academic year, my trusting him is consciously worked out in applying for jobs, preparing the ground for rain, setting my heart on God providing for my needs. If God's going to open a door, he certainly doesn't call us to sit on our behinds and wait for a door to open - he expects us to start knocking!

As you're sitting enjoying a cup of coffee, your friend phones up as you sit in the cafe and lets you know that something's come up and your coffee's going to have to be rescheduled for tomorrow. Part of you may be sad, maybe even annoyed that your coffee meet-up's been cancelled, but your trust in your friend shouldn't have been dented. They remain trustworthy, and your relationship you have with them ensures that next time you'll look forward to meeting them with the same trust and anticipation as today. Circumstances change, but they remain the same. And circumstances will change, but if we consciously choose to trust, then find wonderful satisfaction and peace in acting in the knowledge that they will make that cup of coffee with you. It may be at their home, or at a different coffee bar. It may be on a different day and become lunch rather than coffee, but it'll happen.

Are we willing to allow God's provision and good will to be flexible, knowing he's good? We're called to know him, and the more you read his word the more you get to know him, and act and make decisions consciously trusting that he will act. Be a David to the world's Goliath.

TheWeeScottie

---------------------------------------------------------------

weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Song: Phoenix

2010-04-13T20:57:00.003+01:00

Song: Phoenix
(No tune/chords yet, any suggestions greatly appreciated!)

Chorus
Phoenix,
born from the ashes
everything burnt away
leaving only potential
infinite possibility
remade in a whisper
re-created to be
dazzling to the soul and eye;
phoenix reborn.

Verse 1
I am dust
nothing left og what I was
dust stirring
to the warmth of your breath
life breathing, something´s changing
a heart transplant in the soul
this dust has been renewed
right through the whole.

Verse 2
Body soaring
on wings I didn´t have before
spirit lifted
by this wind that holds me up
Spirit speaking
move this heart to steer my course
blaze a trail
with this new-born fire in me.

Verse 3
Edged with fire
these wing tips scorch the air
no longer dullness
but brightness holds me here
holds me steady
while others flock to see
and wonder
at the change inside of me.

Verse 4
New skies opened
fresh paths cleared before
horizons beckon
now these wings are clipped no more
and eyes will watch
some in wonder, some in scorn
as this ball of dust
grasps the choice to be reborn.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Live it, love it, show it

2010-03-23T21:52:00.002Z

A response to Cat's recent post on fascinating people to the gospel:

Live it, love it, show it

Help us hold out your love

on our tattered sleeves

reach your cry of love

to a world that screams

for a better way

and a better life,

when the hope that they need

is in the love of Christ.

Give us eyes to see

a hope beyond this world

not a fleeting note

but a truth foretold

which makes tempting things,

possessions, fade away

next to the satisfaction

of a life that's today,

and tomorrow, and on

through the highs and the lows

using trials and joys

to bring praise to his throne,

giving all up to him,

laying all at his feet,

shouting the message of truth

that can never be beat.

Living radical lives

where Jesus comes first,

living acts of mad love & joy,

sharing His thirst

for the dirty, the outcasts,

the hurting and lost,

the rich and the poor,

proud, angry and cursed,

overflowing with love,

living grace out each day

and not caring a jot

what the neighbours might say

but satisfied fully in Christ,

and no less.

Help us shoulder our cross,

and joyfully, hold out your best.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

At the top of the stairs stands a monster

2010-02-16T11:03:00.003Z

As you read the poem, do you know the secret identity of the monster?

At the top of the stairs stands a monster

At the top of the stairs stands a monster

A towering, monsterous fiend.

Its eyes glow with malice and menace

Its hair lies unkempt and unclean.

The foul smelling scent of old undies

Wafts pungent and stale down the stairs

A gnarly old grin shows off sickening teeth

So be sharp, don’t get caught unawares!

Those two swarthy arms hold a basket

Filled with the evilest stinks

And up from that pit drifts a terrible stench

Which, believe me’s far worse than you think!

The beastie rears up on its hind legs

Resting on pink hairy pads

Each of its claws, counting twenty in all,

Are disgustingly clipped and unclad.

Gulping, in sight of the monster

I’m doomed for, it’s safe to assume,

The beastie breathes in and, with terrible force, cries out

‘Thomas! Go tidy your room!’

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

If all the world were candyfloss

2010-02-15T22:51:00.002Z

One for the kids, though don't ask me where it came from!

If all the world were candyfloss

If all the world were candyfloss,

I think I’d have quite a task

To stop myself from eating

Everyone that I walked past

I’d try to get to school

But by the time I reached the gates

I’d have eaten up the bus driver

And maybe Mrs Yates.

Imagine if you could guzzle down teachers,

Now wouldn’t that be cool?!

By morning break I’d probably

Have eaten half the school.

And in that scary staff-room,

I’d lick my lips and say

“if you don’t make break 3 hours long,

I’ll gobble you up right away!”

I’d walk right into libraries

And wander down the isles,

And if someone told me to ‘shush’

I’d gobble them up in a smile!

As I strolled along the highstreet,

I’d much on lamp posts too,

And knowing my luck, whether panther or duck

The animals in the zoo!

And just imagine, on the hills,

All of those cows and sheep!

It’d be just like those fairground stalls

With cotton candy treats!

But most of all I think I’d like

To eat my parents up.

After they always ask

To help them to clean up.

So tell me, adults in your chairs

and don't be mad or cross,

aren't you glad this wonderful world's

not made of candy floss?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Choices

2010-01-30T10:30:00.002Z

I really like how God can do many things when you make time to spent with him. He could remind you of a simple fundamental truth, which he might then lovingly clobber you over the head with. And sometimes you're just left humbly reminded about who he is. Like David in the Psalms (all those songs in the middle of the bible) song and poetry can be the outcome to reflecting on who God is. This morning that was the case. Here's what came out:

Choices

A meditation on Ephesians 4 v 28-32

No longer may my thieving hands take that

which honest hands have toiled, working for,

but my I 'stead take tool to hand and work

that generosity may grace my door.

And my my mouth not hold those words which may

corrupt and taint the sum of all around,

but only such is good for building up

that grace be given fresh and comfort found.

And above all to grieve the Spirit nought,

if through his precious blood I have been bought.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Kids prayers

2009-11-29T22:52:00.002Z

I've been away for a while, I know! But here's something to make you smile while I think of how to sum up the last 2 months in a blog post! Prayers written by primary school kids. Enjoy!

1. Dear God,
please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda

2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

4. God,
I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison

5. Dear God,
how did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene

6. Dear God,
is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita

7. Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nancy

8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too.
Glenn

9. Dear God,
my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

10. Dear God,
do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
Nathan

11. Dear God,
did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

12. Dear God,
in bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

13. Dear God,
how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?
Billy

14. Dear God,
please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter

15. Dear God,
maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry

16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.
Mark

17. Dear God,
my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
Marsha

18. Dear God,
if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara

19. Dear God,
is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?
Donny

20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.
Charlesv

21. Dear God,
it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff

22. Dear God,
I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
Frank

And, saving the best for last .

23. Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
Thomas

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

With Jesus, I'll walk (through this shadowy land)

2009-08-21T07:54:00.002+01:00

With Jesus, I'll walk (through this shadowy land)
A meditation on Habakkuk 3v17-19

I may be made redundant, my job taken away,
my house reposessed where, for 10 years, I've stayed,
my stocks daily drop, as I look at the Times,
my investments shrink, draining dollar and dime,
my friends may well leave as my wealth starts to fade,
my family be worried for the plans that we'd made,
though all that's material be taken away,
I'll cling to the rock of the one who will save:
my strength and my joy, my treasure and worth
are found in my Lord, king of all of this earth.
He will make clear, a path, where we'll walk hand in hand
with Jesus, my joy, through this shadowy land.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Sunset on a Spanish beach

2009-08-15T22:29:00.002+01:00

Sunset on a Spanish beach

Sunset falls on a beach Nova
dying beams of light bless the sea
as couples, children, passers-by
bath in the golden, orange rays.
Late-night bars, like Christmas-tree lights,
twinkle into life
as Spanish guitars caress the air,
music clothing the velvety twilight with colour.
Exotic drinks infuse the darkess with a lightening air,
tavernas enticing wandering strangers in,
while warm night air
cools the burns of the afternoon sun
and frosty pitchers of Sangria
soothe tired minds and bodies.
Moonlight highlights flecks of silvery crests
as langorous waves break gently
upon the silent beach.
Only the dreams of angels can be heard upon the shore.
If you listen carefully, you can hear them,
even now.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Underwater

2009-08-15T09:04:00.001+01:00

Underwater

Hazy mist drifts by as I float,
gently descending through shifting currents.
My senses feel dulled
as though I were half sleeping,
drifting in a world of cotton wool.
The delicate shingling sound of a thousand marbles on wood
washes over me like the sands of time.
Then, like an eagle spreading its wings for flight,
I stretch my arms out, reaching up and up, higher and higher,
hurtling through this tranquil world,
I break the surface,
and breathe.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

There and back again, a short person's tale

2009-08-14T22:22:00.002+01:00

Hurrah for sun and sea and Ticket to ride! My family and I have just been amazingly blessed to enjoy a week in Majorca with a range of books, games and exploration up the island's sheer hills and things to do. Highlights have to be the Western Waterland (waterpark) with its 30m (!!!) near-vertical waterchute, the Pirates Adventure (seriously, watch the trailer -- it was amazing!) and the real luxury of being able to enjoy spending time with my mum, dad and sister.

Amongst the craziness and relaxing of the week, I wrote a small number of poems & songs which I'll be posting soon. Some are based from the balcony of the hotel we stayed in, and others are somewhat more from the (often somewhat worrying) depths of my mind. I hope some make you smile, and others, to reflect.

I'm now officially moved back in with my folks in Swindon as well. As some of you may know, I've had a challenging first year's teaching, but have known God's amazing grace & the blessing through friends like Dave and Marie, Adam, Si, Lizzie, Frazer and the rest of the Carey 20s and 30s, not forgetting my very patient and loving girlfriend Cat who's kept me smiling and joyful in Jesus' hope more times than I care to count!

One thing I have found constantly encouraging this year and currently is how the hope I am amazingly allowed to have in Jesus keeps me worry-free (in theory!) I've been very challenged this year about what I cling to and where I find my security. I've been reminded that my security and hope doesn't lie in my job, a mortgage or house or the place I live, nor the church I attend. My hope for tomorrow lies squarely in Jesus for my patience, energy and peace (about jobs and so many other things). Proverbs 3v5-6 has resounded throughout this year, and has become something of a guiding light as I've weathered the peaks and troughs of recent times in particular:

'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight'

I love how God's plan doesn't depend on my state of mind, feelings, cash flow or concerns. He promises simply to 'make your paths straight'. And how twisted I seem to love to make my path!

So I'm currently applying around Swindon and the rest of Wiltshire for supply teaching, with a view to find a job in the area this year. Eyes will be kept to the ground -- let me know if you hear any Upper primary jobs come up! And if you happen to be in the area of Junction 15 of the M4, do pop by for a cup of tea of coffee - the kettle's always on the boil with 3 teachers under 1 roof ;)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

A meditation

2009-07-02T20:41:00.002+01:00

A meditation on God's character

Lord, your goodness surprises me,
surpassing my miniscule imagination
overwhelming what I think is good
and nourishing me more than I thought possible.
Your faithfulness leaves me breathless,
winded by your grace.
My heart skips as I allow it to enter me freshly.
Peace should not be this simple to receive!
All it takes is a bowed knee,
the confession that I was wrong,
the recognition of my selfishness,
and a heart-felt sorry.
I reflect that I cannot change in my own strength.
I tried, and keep trying,
but I know it's not enough. It never is!
I'm just not strong enough.
Make me strong in your strength
may I stand on you, my rock.
Let me soar like the Japanese bullet train,
fuelled and inspired by your spirit.
Your strength never runs out,
your spirit never runs dry.
I've tried so much,
yet nothing comepares to you:
Only you can satisfy me.
You alone, my Lord, my God.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Listening & responding

2009-07-01T21:06:00.003+01:00

Dave Bish recently blogged on reading/listening to sermons via mp3 download. This is a short portion of what he said:

'On the positive side of new technology I can get access to gifted teachers who can help me to love Jesus more, just as in previous generations I could have read the sermons of a Spurgeon or a Lloyd-Jones alongside commentaries and other Christian books. On the negative side, it's easy enough to be a sermon junkie who is ever listening and never responding to the preached word' (full version here)

I felt humbly rebuked & encouraged symultaneously. I was reminded how we are so very privileged to be able to read or listen to quality teaching: from the day before, to several centuries before, from Spurgeon and Lloyd-Jones to John Piper and Mark Driscoll. I've not read much Spurgeon or Lloyd-Jones, but I know that I've found a lot of what Piper and Driscoll preach very helpful and often well applied. But therein lies the temptation, to approach sermons like the Churchill dog: nodding and nodding, saying 'ooooh yes'. And to leave it at that. Shut down the computer, turn off the iPod and tune back into our lives - with no change. There's the rebuke - what's my attitude towards preaching? Sometimes I think I far too easily approach the message on Sunday morning as ticking a box in my week, when in fact this message, this gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ! This is the word that takes our selfish thoughts and cravings and transforms them, day by day, into something that can begin to honour God.

It makes me realise that all to often I feel convicted about something and read up book after book and fill my ears with quality preaching, only to carry on as I was before. I'm reminded how selfish I am - I don't even want to think what it would be like to live differently, to live something better. A.W. Tozer said 'The true follower of Christ will not ask, "If I embrace this truth, what will it cost me?" Rather he will say, "This is truth. God help me to walk in it, let come what may!"'.

I want this to be my attitude, more and more: to realise when I'm being convicted, to respond to Jesus' truth of forgiveness with full repentance and a humble and simple prayer to let God's truth walk into me and steam-roller my pride beneath it. I want to respond, I want to change. And I thank God that he wants exactly the same, and is just waiting to enable me to - if I ask Him.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

When a monster came to our school

2009-06-30T23:10:00.004+01:00

Another silly poem, born out of the question that popped into my head while doing literacy with my year 1 kids and discussing crazy things that could happen at school. What if...

When a monster came to our school

It was a beautiful sunny spring morning,
and the flowers were shining with dew,
as I walked to my school after breakfast
none the wiser of what would ensue.

My best friends all waved as I got there,
As we dumped our school bags on the ground.
But just as we readied the first football’s kick
We saw everyone else had turned round.

And what a sight we found!

A boy, not much older than I am,
I think he was seven or eight
Was hopping along through the playground,
On one foot as he juggled 3 plates!

It was then that I suddenly noticed
Was that a tail that poked out from his shorts?
And there, could it be, oh my word, tee hee hee!
His knees were covered in warts!

And his hair flowed all golden and wavy,
From his head to his waist, tied in knots.
And lower than that, hidden under his shoes
He wore bright pink polkadoc socks!

None of us spoke in amazement,
This was just so incredibly cool.
We had a new pupil, and none had a scruple:
A monster had come to our school!

He followed us into our classroom
As the bell went at twenty to nine.
And proceeded to hang up his bag on a seat,
And sit down on the wall next to mine.

The teacher, Miss Jones, didn’t see him
As she called out our names one through all.
And nearly flew out of her chair when she heard
Our new monster reply from the wall!

As the morning progressed, then we noticed,
He never once reached for a pen.
Instead he picked up a window
And with a chair leg he wrote there and then!

At break time, he eyed up out football,
So we invited our new friend to play.
But he ran on his toes, and with his elbows
he played as if doing ballet!

During science he scared Mr Creacher,
When he ate up three test tubes like bread.
Without so much as a pause he devoured the gauze
And then sat on the ceiling out-spread.

At lunch time, this peculiar monsterish child
Sat to eat with us in the canteen,
And ate all the spoons from cutlery drawer
So with fingers we ate our ice cream!

In music he sang like a rubber,
And smiled as we all played kazoos,
Then before our very eyes, and to the teacher’s surprise,
Played his nose like a didgeridoo!

At home-time, we stood in suspense,
While our monster friend sat on the ceiling,
Wondering who was the mum on this unusual son.
Our nerves we were barely concealing!

Then out to the playground we streamed,
each of us keeping an eye
on our new special friend, ‘who’s his mum?’ ‘Is it Len’s’?
the questions flew fast ‘cross the sky.

He hopped on his hands to his mother,
And through the gates they departed the fray.
What a shock! Who’d have known, for there, walking alone
By his side was the head teacher. No way!

Any thoughts, please do let me know :) My poems can always be improved and any suggestions would be fab!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

The terror of Armreach farm

2009-06-30T22:59:00.002+01:00

1 month in hiding, mostly due to forgetting my blog exists at times and finding other exciting and interesting things to do :) school work for one! Below is one of a series of poems I've written recently: random poems about silly things, and some nonsense poems inspired by my Year 1 kids' work on nonsense poetry. I'll post 'When a monster came to our school' soon. I just need to iron out kinks first.

See if you can guess what the 'beast' is before the last verse!

The terror of Armreach farm

I looked out on the moonlit farmyard
The sky like a tranquil lagoon,
The wind moved the leaves in a nearby tree,
The moon would be rising soon.

And still as the gravestones, it waited,
Its heart dark as the deep night sky
Ready to spring and swift mayhem to bring
When the moon stood complete, and high.

And quiet asleep in their stalls now,
The animals slumbered in peace.
From the gold eiderdown of the small of ducks
To the shimmering sheeps’ winter fleece.

And still as the mountains, it waited,
Its heart like the indigo sky
Ready to spring and swift mayhem to bring
When the moon stood complete, and high.

I opened the door with shiver.
I guess where the beast might be.
In truth I knew not, of his new hiding spot,
So I waited, resting on one knee.

And still as a statue, it waited,
Its heart dark as blackcurrant pie,
Ready to spring and swift mayhem to bring
When the moon stood complete, and high.

As midnight tolled out ‘cross the farmyard,
An unearthly silence swift fell,
And the dull ghostly tones of the ancient clock’s groans
Rang out 12 times, it beast’s deathly knell.

And slow as the ages, it wakened,
Beating heart as adrenaline flowed,
And fast through its mind, with chaotic thoughts,
Its fancies began to unfold.

Quick as a whippet I looked up,
A shadow had stirred to the side.
In the stable I saw, darker than there before,
A deep shadow’s malevolent eyes.

And unmoving, the shadow stood staring,
Unaware of my foolhardy plan,
No mere man, it believed, could prevent him,
Once its frenzied assault began.

Like lightning the beast sprang towards me,
Its hooves like the thundering of drums.
I knew only one move would save me this night,
Or else, to its fury, succumb.

And fast as the planets it bolted,
For the ground to which I was firm bound.
My hand swiftly reached for my tattered coat pouch,
And flung its contents to the ground.

The screeching of hooves was tremendous,
As I breathed, barely making a noise.
Would the beast take the bait, precious seconds to wait,
And let me spring out of my poise?

And careful, it sniffed at the truffles,
Shrewd wariness clear in its eyes.
Did it trust in this treat, would it leap for my feet?
When it lowered its tree-like thighs.

My lunge was as quick as a cheetah,
as bold as a school-teacher’s stare,
the beast looked up but too late now,
its squealing shattering the air.

And frenzied, the beast struggled madly.
With its tail thrashing wide through the air,
Til the moon was consumed by a nearby cloud,
And still was the beast’s bristled hair.

The sweat glistened fresh on my forehead
As I stooped to retrieve the still form.
And shouldering the beast with a weary grunt,
I crossed the now quieted farm.

The main barn door creaked as it opened,
As if knowing what lay in my arms,
And the straw crackled loud, as if cheering
My saving the farmyard from harm.

Yet I gently replaced the wee bundle,
Knowing soon I would face it again.
For the moon was the curse of this small sleeping form:
A monster within the mundane.

And so it repeats, every cycle,
As the moon becomes fuller each day.
I silently wait in the dark twilit yard,
For the twelve bells to summon my prey.

The sound of the low shallow grunting
As that swill-laiden smell cuts the air,
And I whisper ‘goodbye’ to the red beady eyes
Of the Were-Piglet. ‘Were’, piggy, ‘were’.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated. It is far from perfect I know, but then, it is just a bit of fun!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Dreams in stills

2009-05-01T21:19:00.003+01:00

A fellow teaching friend from years gone by posted this on her facebook page & it's just a spot of sheer genious! If you like imaginative music videos or animation (or are up for something fun and creative, for that matter) then have a goosey at this:

I'm suddenly inspired to try making one. Bring on the ICT/Literacy/Drama project!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Introducing Steve

2009-04-24T08:40:00.003+01:00

Adam and I have discovered a variety of nibbled things in the house recently, including 2 Mars bars (nearly nibbled in half) and a creme egg! Late one evening he was spotted running across our living room and it was confirmed, we have a mouse!

Having christened it Steve McQueen in honour of Hugh Laurie's character from House, we set a humane trap of peanut butter & partially nibbled creme egg. Dead tasty!

It appears Steve really was a sucker for chocolate and peanut butter though as he was safely caught in 1 night after nibbling was heard (ironically, while I was watching House) and was discharged in the morning with a clean bill of health.

He shall be missed though. Oh to be able to keep pets! Maybe one day. I wonder what Cat would think of that...

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Good Friday

2009-04-11T08:59:00.002+01:00

I'm loving Jesus. I love how he was willing to go through much pain, rejection and emotional/physical/spiritual suffering for me. I'm bowled over by his sacrifice and willingness to be spiritually cut off from God.

This came out of meditating on what Jesus went through ~2000 years ago:

Good Friday

This is the day my saviour died
and history bears he was crucified,
unfairly ruled and beaten raw,
dragged through the streets in sight of all,
carrying the bar of his own cross,
taking spits, abuse and other dross,
led up the hill called the place of the skull
tired and bleeding, humble, docile,
cried in pain as nails bit deep
no doubt causing him to weep,
slung up high and strung in place
forced to endure the worst disgrace,
and died, calling in full ear & view,
"Forgive them father, they don't know what they do."

I desperately want finish this off, but that's where my want to write stopped. It's very easy to think of Jesus dieing on the cross as a simple flick-of-the-switch act, but in truth it wouldn't have been. It does us good to stare on the rugged cross and walk Jesus last hours with him. It reminds us how much he was willing to go through, and how much he chose to endure for us. Mind-boggling, when you think about it. Bring on Sunday :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Huzzah!

2009-04-05T09:14:00.002+01:00

The easter holidays has finally dawned and I'm looking forward to a spot of rest in between trips into school to get the Summer term ready!

Having dropped Cat off at Luton on Saturday morning (she's off to Poland for a week's mission at one of their universities) I spent the afternoon at a friend's house playing board games. Fab fun and wonderfully relaxing. Spending time with other people reminds me why God's made us his church, rather than his call centre; a group of people serving him together, rather than individuals in claustrophobic booths not dependant nor working for eachother. Fellowship is so important and is such a wonderful blessing! How great it is that we're the body. rather than the fishfingers of Christ.

Looking back over the past 3 months, it's been a testing term and I've now got a tough decision to make over the easter hols re: school following my mid-point review. Prayer would be muchly appreciated and I'll happily share what the decision entails with you if you give me a phone or drop me an email. Thanks.

Right, time like me is short so I'd best put my washing on and prepare for the church! Big blessings to all of you.

Rock on in Him :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

At the cross

2009-03-28T10:09:00.005Z

Cat's recently blogged on Staying at the cross and how it's so vital that 'As Christians we need to stay at the Cross, no matter where we are in our Christian walk. The Cross is important.' She also quotes John Stott:

"The essence of sin is we human beings substituting ourselves for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for us. We…put ourselves where only God deserves to be; God…puts himself where we deserve to be."

In short, we need to get our eyes off ourselves (our job, family, responsibilities, worries) and get them back where they need to be: on God. The source of our peace, joy and salvation!

As I read Cat's post, I was in the middle of writing up my planning for next week's literacy for my kids; and we're going to be doing Kennings (Norse-rooted poems where each line has 2 words, and the lines pair together as rhyming couplets). This poem is what came out of meditating for 5-10 mins on the cross & what Jesus did:

At the cross

Wood-beam bearer
Suffering sharer
Resolutely staying
Father obeying
Sin receiver
Burden reliever
Pain enduring
Life ensuring
Spirit released
Wrath appeased
Curtain torn
Hope reborn
Powerful raising
All tongues praising
Death defeated
By Father, seated
Glory owning
So much owing
Victory mine?
Take this lifeline?

I love how God takes the ordinary, in this case, my literacy planning (!) and uses it for his glorious purposes. Literacy has just served as a tool to focus me back on Jesus. Our God really is a God of the mundane as well as the miraculous. How great is our God!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Making time to worship

2009-03-21T22:59:00.003Z

I've felt quite challenged recently by worship and what this really means to me as a christian. I think it's very easy to get into the firm mindset that worship is 'singing' or worship is 'prayer', ending up limiting worship to one specific thing or another. But if you look at David in the psalms (and in 1 Samuel too) you see him praising God in all kinds of ways. Across all his musings and praise, David's aim in worship was always to give God glory - to tell him how awesome he is, to extol (tell out) his virtues and effectively take his focus off himself and stick it firmly on God.

It's also made me think, 'how much time do I spend making time to worship?' which for me includes writing poetry and singing along to my guitar from worship books, but I know for others will include other things as well.

As I got into bed this evening, I found myself split between the powerful urge to kiss the cat goodnight (a long-standing habit) and go straight to sleep, or to spend a little time turning my thoughts to God. The words to a Delirious song came to mind and before I knew it, a verse started writing itself in my head. This poem is what came of it. I've tentatively named it 'Wash me anew', but if you can think of another name, please do leave it as a comment:

Wash me anew

Kneeling, aware of your grace,
oh how I want to stay here
in this holy place.
I don't want to be anywhere else
away from you.

And the day fades away,
dissolving into shadows
as I turn to your face
and gaze into the depths of your love;
darkest depths that burn with holy fire,
dispelling the shadows & piercing the doubt,
lighting all the corners of my mind;
my heart intertwined with yours.

Then it washes over me,
rushing like a mighty flood,
the monsoon of your peace,
drenching every corner of my soul.
The open thoughts & hidden secrets
laid bare before you.

Oh wash me anew!
Cleanse me and know me,
focus now my selfish heart of you.
Wash me anew.

I love how worship can be as simple as a word, and as profound as the most marvelously practical wisdom. I love how God accepts our worship - despite how it never manages to truly capture his awesomeness. I love how he can take the events of the most trialling of days (and I'm having a few at the moment) and dissolve them into nothingness in the face of his perfect plan and all-encompassing peace. Worship is a truly awesome privilege. Let's give it our all.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Mercy

2009-03-15T14:31:00.002Z

Words inspired by our visiting speaker to Carey today. He reminded us that Jesus is our one and only sure hope for salvation. It's all about his amazing grace and his mercy.

Mercy

The tool of your mercy, a cross,
in its rugged and cruel, splintered form.
The shape of your mercy, a man,
hanging beaten, forsook and forlorn.
The cost of your mercy, your son,
your one and your only, severed.
The result of your mercy, new life,
for me and for you, forever.

Rock on :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Back from the hermitage

2009-03-15T13:40:00.003Z

It's been far too long since I last blogged, so I thought (encouraged by Cat) that I'd pop up an update. The first half of term has absolutely whizzed by and before I know it, I'm into assessment week! This means lots of papers for my poor kids, and a lot of inspiration from me to get them in the mood to do them ;)

School's crazy at the moment, and I'm gaining 2 kids too! Very exciting, though part of me feels sorry for them as they'll be coming straight into test week. Oh yes, and something very exciting is that I've just started hunting for a house in Reading.

Adam (my housemate) have been looking around some very cool little houses and are waiting to hear back from an estate agent or 2 about severla places that we liked the look of. Progess will be posted!

If you're curious, I had a bit of a 'sad moment' (as my dad would put it) and videod the inside when we went to look around! Here's the vid, and feel free to ignore the ramblings in the background ;)

Anyhoo, I'd best be back off to get my planning sorted for tomorrow. But I'll finish on something that someone very special to me reminded me of yesterday re: work. I've been struggling a lot recently with confidence in my work, being reminded a lot from school that I've got numerous targets to meet, and the realisation hit that I've allowed the joy I have in Jesus to wane and be side-lined to 'scheduled time' with Him, rather than allowing it to sink in across the whole day. And what amazing joy it is! Why should we be allowed such amazing grace? It's something I enjoy not being able to understand. Allowing God's amazing grace to blow your mind does you a power of good :)

And as for work, I've been reminded how allowing the joy in the hope we have in Jesus to inspire your work gives you such courage and tenacity that you begin to realise how the apostle Paul chose to share the gospel with the whole of Caesar's household when he was slammed in prison. Awesome stuff. Now, time to plan!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

It's snow time!

2009-02-07T15:07:00.007Z

A cheesy pun? Most definately :)

So much snow; so many learning opportunities! We've spent about a third of the last couple of school days ~~playing~~ learning in the snow. One of my children came up to me and asked when they were going to starting learning today? I pointed out we'd been building team-building skills (PSHE), throwing snowballs (based on our English explanations for 'How to throw a snowball at a teacher') and DT/Art - creating snowmen and igloos. Yes, I did get a blank look. My kids rock!

Friday evening and Saturday has been restful and full of sledging with my mum and dad; one of the advantages of living near a steepish slope. Below is the evidence of the fun had!

The snowman at school with the 'empty tummy' as he became known.

Me, dad and mum after a crazy half our on the piste.

Having hung up my salopettes, it's back to the prep for assessment week at school. But what a fantastic day and a half so far. And what an amazingly beautiful creation we live in :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Oh God

2009-02-06T10:03:00.003Z

'Oh God' is a phrase we hear a lot each day, isn't it? It's a phrase that greatly saddens me a lot of the time. People use it as an exclamation of surprise or frustration but more importantly than that it takes God's name and rubs it in the dirt. It takes his name vainly and reduces the glorious and awesome name of the Almighty God to a witness to someone being annoyed, surprised. Pick your emotion.

But in the bible we reading of people like the king, David, effectively crying out 'Oh God!' Not in the sense that they were annoyed or surprised, but that they were overwhelmed by who God is. They allowed the sheer awesomeness, love and unparalleled forgiveness of God to sink deep into them to the point that what they saw shocked them to their hearts. That the almighty God of the universe loved them. That, after they sinned, He still loved them. And that in Jesus, he was going to and did give up His only precious son for them. And for us.

This morning, I dared to spend a minute reminding myself of what God's done for me on the cross in Jesus, and the shock sank through my whole thinking. This poem came out of it:

Oh God,

I scarce can take it in,

that you would call me son;

a sinner through and through,

saved by the holy one.

It blows my mind in every way

that I may stay,

with you. It's done!

Oh God,

that you gave up your own,

your only, precious son,

my slavery overthrown

and my salvation won.

His sacrifice of heart of soul

has made me whole

and with you, one.

Oh God,

that you would love me still,

e'en though my sinful heart

still causes me to stumble

and from you to part.

Yet open arms await my shame,

in Jesus name,

your healing starts.

Oh God,

my life you've shown to me,

a straight and narrow way,

of sacrificial love,

and run with joy today.

My footsteps, stumbling, oft' will fall,

but he will keep me strong in all,

until His glorious day.

I'm left thinking, it this can come out of reminding myself what God's done for me for 1 minute. How different may my day be if I did it agin at lunch time?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

I steadier step

2009-01-04T23:17:00.001Z

Tis funny how you stumble across quotes. This encouraging and humbling quote comes from my little book of 'Faith, hope and love', a stocking filler.

'It fortifies my soul to know
that, though I perish, truth is so:
that, howso'er I stray and range
what'er I do, thou dost not change.

I steadier step when I recall
that, if I slip, thou dost not fall'

-- Artur Hugh Clough --

Happy New Year everybody!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Something better

2008-10-28T08:08:00.002Z

A fab quote from 'Passion and Purity' By Elizabeth Elliott

Taken from a dialogue between Elliott and God re: the feelings she had for a man she was growing to love, but couldn't marry at that time:
My heart was saying, "Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long."

The Lord was answering, "I must teach you to long for something better." - Elizabeth Elliot

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Passed

2008-10-20T18:38:00.003+01:00

Thank you to everyone's who's been praying about today's final assessment! The external moderator came in today and observed a lesson of mine (which went nigh on perfectly!) and set down to grill my files.

After the black smoke had cleared, she and my tutor gave me the thumbs up for Friday's piece of mandatory paperwork.

All I can say is praise God for the way he's kept me going with energy, patience, strength & determination over the past 7 weeks. It's been tough, but God's been tougher, there've literally been tears but God's always been there to comfort me, it's been a strain on my sleep (let's not start counting!) but yet he's always given me the strength I've needed for the day ahead.

Jude puts it very succinctly:

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen."
-- Jude 1v24-25 --

He can't help but praise God out of the sheer factual wonder that he will keep him safe in Christ until that truly amazing and awesome day when he returns. That has been the greatest challenge this term - keeping my focus on the prize; not of NQT (newly qualified teacher) status, but of my hope in Christ. And what joy it's brought! When teaching has been hard & the kids nightmarish, paperwork's built up and the clock's carrying on into tomorrow, getting my focus set on that hope of ours in Christ (that is, a future with God) has brought the joy back & renewed determination.

Now, with half term beckoning I've been told by friends that life'll calm down a bit, especially in the evenings. And part of me's looking forward to that. I'm challenged to remember that it's in my weakness this past half-term that I've known his strength most fully. How easy to cruise on when life seems easier! But I don't want this to be the case, I want this passion and reliance to continue day in, day out. He's sustained me perfectly according to my needs; that reliance I want to continue to walk in.

Rock on :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

The theology of curves

2008-10-17T00:57:00.005+01:00

[CAUTION: CONTAINS MATHS!]

Did you know that every line drawn on a graph has a formula which describes its path perfectly?

Chatting with a friend of mine at 1am this morning got me thinking about how sometimes we have no idea what God seems to be up to and your life seems to be a bit like an erratic curve on a graph. Let's face it, we like to know what's going to happen next in our lives - if we could choose to have a line to represent our lives then it would be a straight line (linear) graph. Always constant, the gradient never changes, and easy as pi (pardon the maths pun) to work out what it's going to look like 10, 50 or 10,000 steps down the line. In short - with a linear line, we can work it out very easily and predict what's going to happen.

But our lives aren't linear lines, they're curved and meandering, what's know as a differential curve. A-level maths teaches you that a differential curve which meanders around all in what looks to be a highly erratic way can be nigh on impossible to predict. Cue much flustering about not being able to predict this seemingly erratic path.

The great thing about curves however (well, as a maths bod) is that all curves have a formula which enables you to predict how the line will progress - perfectly. How encouraging to be reminded that God knows that formula - he just reveals a little bit of the line's path each day.

We may not be able to predict what's coming up next, or where our paths are going to pitch and soar (and sometimes seem to change direction), but we serve a God who knows that path back to front. He knows the formula that describes our path perfectly - from year to year, day to day, situation to situation. Our lives have some of the most complicated differential curves in all creation, so delicately interwoven into God's plan that it makes my head hurt.

And for each line that's carefully and lovingly woven into his marvelous plan, he knows the formula that describes where it's going. Perfectly. Let's learn to trust Him in the plotting of our paths.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Trust in you alone

2008-10-06T20:46:00.002+01:00

We sang The Lord's my Shepherd (Stuart Townend version) on Sunday morning and the line 'I will trust in you alone' struck me freshly. This poem came out of it:

I will trust in you alone

I will trust in you alone,
for my thoughts lead me astray.
I will trust in you alone,
for tomorrow and today.
I will trust in you alone,
for you lead my footsteps still,
and only when I trust in you
can I walk within your will.

I will trust in you alone
when the way's unclear to me.
I will cling to your firm rock
and learn to patient be.
I will trust in you alone;
give me that mustard seed,
to humbly seek your perfect will
and love what it may be.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Where do you source your joy?

2008-10-02T00:01:00.006+01:00

Paul's example in Romans just knocks me for six. He's gone through being beaten, rejected by fellows 'brothers', thrown out of towns, thrown into prison, shipwrecked, left hungry and seems rarely to be given any thanks for his efforts. Yet, he has what can only be called an abundant and seemingly depthless joy that he exudes in everything he writes about. What I love about this joy Paul has, it that it's drawn from the same source that we can drawn ours from - an eternal and unchangeable hope in Jesus Christ for our lives and after.

In light of how amazing the gospel of Jesus is, should we not be exuding joy in everything? Cat's post on Living for Christ with Joy has made me think; what makes me smile, what makes me rejoice in how amazing God is, what loving things do I enjoy doing that bring me a refraction of the joy Jesus wants in my life? Here's the short-list that came to mind:

1. Reading books
2. Cat :)
3. Playing the piano/guitar
4. Sunsets/sunrises
5. Playing console & PC games
6. Good coffee
7. Chatting with friends
8. Making or playing with gadgets
9. Listening to music
10. Helping a child learn something
11. Cooking
12. Snowboarding
13. Photography
14. Poetry
15. Random chats with friends!

How amazing it is to realise that God's made us to be joy seekers after his name, or Christian Hedonists (as John Piper puts it). I often find it far too easy to detach having joy in Christ from my life each day. But how can I do that, when this joy of his is ready to fill my life in every conversation, every decision and action as Paul discovered. I wonder how else joy manages to peek through in our lives (and in some cases, jump up and down). How does it in yours?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Currently loving: Jim Brickman

2008-09-22T21:39:00.002+01:00

Stumbling upon internet radio stations, this chap's a corker if you're into Ludovico Einaudi or country music (not quite my thing, but his piano's stuff's fab):

Iceberg radio
http://new.icebergradio.com/
--> Textures
--> Jim Brickman

And best of all, it's free!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Updates from the 'ding & 'wow, is that the time?!'

2008-09-22T21:05:00.008+01:00

3 weeks in and I find myself still in one piece, the kids all in 1 piece (respectively) and all my crockery and smashable items at home all in one piece. I am pretty tired, but I'm finding that work-life balance is getting there gradually. Marking (usually) happens at school and everything else happens at home! (sometimes, including marking)

Part of me is very much looking forward to half term when my re-take of the 7 week summer block for my PGCE will be completed and I'll have (God-willing) passed with the necessary pallet of flying colour. But then again, another part of me's saying not to rush this 7 week period away. Even thinking about this part of me now makes me realise how strange a thought this is; as when this 7 week period's up, it will mean I can reclaim my evenings and weekends, not to mention give me more time to catch up with people and be able to go to my homegroup at church.

But the other part pipes back up again, reminding me that this 7 week period is reminding me of facts that are fundamental to me during my teaching - both now, and facts that will hold right on through. These 3 weeks have been great fun, but they have been physically shattering going to bed (mum, look away) around 12-1am'ish, and getting up at 6am each day, working 6/7 evenings to keep on top of work & having to lay down commitments I'd love to be a part of. I ought to be 'Tim, living corpse on show', but I continue to be left in wonder at how God's keeping me going - my PGCE reminded me that sometimes all you can do is run on grace when even the fumes in your fuel tank have run out.

This crazy and wonderful reality keeps hitting me freshly each day and I can't get the smile it causes off my face. Once verse that's just struck me is

'Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.'
Psalm 55v22

I'm dog tired, but find that he's keeping me going sufficiently each day. My workload with marking, planning and PGCE paperwork ought to get me down (and at times it can do because of what I miss), but the simple, and amazingly profound fact that God keeps sustaining me in my body and by his Holy Spirit leaves me in awe. Why would God choose to keep a muggins like me going when there must be a hundred more able teachers out there? I love how I can't understand his love, how it's a pool of infinite depth - growing more dense and incomprehensible the further down you go!

I really hope this continues as this year goes on - I want to be walking more closely with God so I can understand his will for me better, I want to be realising and acknowledging each day how weak I am in myself so his strength can sustain me althermore amazingly - I want to know more of this amazing God who calls me Son and invites me to call him Father!

I would also like less paperwork; but as with his work in me, one day at a time :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Episode II: Return of the teacher

2008-09-07T08:31:00.002+01:00

Well, the summer holidays have gone very quickly yet again but I have been able to enjoy wonderful times. Here are the highlights:

Going on holiday for a week to the channel island of Alderney, lots of cycling, french fort sight-seeing, good food and scrabble playing in the evenings.
Spending a week at the 'Young adults prayer and bible conference', receiving great teaching, praying in intercession for national issues, enjoying good fellowship and fun times in between the sessions playing 'Pit!'
Enjoying a week with my lovely Catty at my house, going for walks, visiting my gran and studying the books of Colossians together as she gets prepared for Relay this year.
28 hours of coach journeys to get to Scotland and back (intense joy...) to spend a week working at Abernethy (the christian outdoor centre that I did my gap year at) cooking and cleaning while enjoying the wonderful atmosphere of working with a large group of people who love Jesus.

So, since being back in England I've now packed up, moved to Reading and am setting up house in west Reading in Tilehurst. I've taught my first 2 days at my new school which was a very daunting experience and I think I was more nervous than the 27 kids, but had a great 2 days beginning to get to know them and working out which groups they're going to be in etc.

The big task of teaching my class their first week of academia is now upon me and I have to say that I'm nervous in many ways, but I was wonderfully encouraged in my bible meditation today from Romans 12v9-14, which gives a list of attributes that Paul exhorts us as christians to be a number of things, including:

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love
Honor one another above yourselves
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

This list of attributes reminds me in some ways of the expectations that are on me as a teacher, there are things which I need to do in order to fulfil my job - teach, mark and assess, and oversee the children's academic, personal and emotional development.

What struck me in reading that list of attributes Paul encourages us to have, was that all of these things are important, as are my teaching responsibilities in my job, but in both cases, they seem overwhelming when I think of what it involves for me! But the wonderful fact of it all is that Paul's previously been reminding the readers of his letter that they are to keep Christ central in their lives - and the product of meditating on Christ's death for us on the cross is that we receive His joy! And from this joy, Paul's readers will want to do these things he mentions - not out of personal reasons but out of that joy He puts in us. These things become a natural reaction to what He's done for us.

Returning our thoughts to our lives then, we must remember to keep the gospel of Christ central, our first thoughts in all things; and then serving God in everything else we want to do will come out of that.

I have to say that I'm amazingly excited but very nervous about this first term. I hope and pray that this will draw me closer to God and help me to realise that I can't do this job (aka. serving him) without his hand on me, guiding me each step of the way). Please keep that in your prayers, and now, let's go for it.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Who would you choose?

2008-08-02T12:49:00.003+01:00

It's funny how things just come to you in the shower, isn't it? The last 2 lines of a poem came to my mind this morning and this poem is what came out of it.

Who would you choose?

The water was rising, the rain pouring down
as I stood on the edge of bank
time for just one, time to choose from those two
before both of them sank

My mother was clinging there, grasping a branch
as the powerful currents flowed past.
My girl-friend, the other, ten metres away
where she, to a tree stump, held fast

I looked at the flow of the melt-water stream
and looked from my girl-friend to mother;
how could I choose between two that I love?
yet time but to choose one or other.

How could I measure the worth of two people
who meant all the world to me?
and wade with a rope to save just the one
deciding the other’s destiny?

And so there I stood, unable to choose
out of love for these ones, so dear.
Both looked on with pleading, each yearning their life,
with inescapably palpable fear.

I couldn’t decide, make this ultimate choice
and give up the one for the other.
In choosing the one, the other would die.
Could I give up my girl-friend or mother?

Yet this story’s no ‘one-off’, it’s happened before
when one could be saved, but who?
Between sinner and son, the father chose one
when God turned to man, and chose you.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Next steps

2008-07-04T19:12:00.002+01:00

Here's the nutshell version of today's events.

After the meeting this morning, I was informed that they were failing me due to a variety of reasons, effectively summarised by me not having 'pulled my weight' outside of the classroom. Fighting this corner would not have helped & so I've accepted the reply.

I was given 2 ultimatums, fail and give up, or fail and I find another school which will allow me to complete my 7 week teaching block and pay the assessment fee at the end.

I phoned up my head teacher to be for this coming September and went into school to discuss the situation with him and the deputy head. The humbling outcome of this is that they still want to have me teach the year 4 class, and will be organising cover appropriately to allow the deputy head to mentor me for the first 7 weeks of the Autumn term to fulfil the 7 week block requirement.

All this has been an extreme emotional rollercoaster of a morning, from failure to perfectly planned out hope for the time to come. I'd like to share part of my quiet time from today, specifically what God said:

'I have gone ahead of you and I know the plans I have for you. They will come to pass and nothing shall change this. Trust me for this day then, my son and go in my peace, which passes understanding. I am with you; and I shall never leave you nor forsake you. Now, go.'

His reminder that his plans will come to pass has proved to be particularly applicable today, and though after the meeting I felt wretched and was happily crying away, this didn't change the fact that his plans would come to pass; his good plans for me.

In the light of yesterday's quiet time where God said, 'I have called you to be a teacher, do not lose heart, but work as you must to achieve QTS - I will provide the means to achieve it', He has shown himself to be fully faithful yet again, in providing amazingly supportive head and deputy head teachers at my new school, and a willingness to meet my needs.

In reflection, that's quite a big nutshell - but I couldn't leave it in its simple form when all I can do at the moment (and have been able to do for the past 3 weeks) is praise God for his faithfulness in having gone ahead of me in all these things, in providing my daily bread in encouragement & reminders to focus on him, and in providing for my physical and job-based needs.

On another note, I'm teaching my class to be for 2 days in 2 weeks, which I'm dead excited about as I'm planning on having them put together a class newspaper for the school over the 2 days! As for now, packing must be done, as I'm moving out in 9-10 hours!

Thank you to you all for your continued prayer and encouragement, God has worked his indescribable peace through those prayers & what a joy it is to be reminded that his plans are firmly in place - no man has the power to change them.

Praise God! Now, let's crack on :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Outlook

2008-07-04T07:15:00.003+01:00

I look ahead, and what do I see?
The path seems shrouded, hard to understand
I look to the left, for it seems inviting
I look to the right, for it looks clear
then I look in front of me
and that same shroud cover the way ahead.
Yet focussing through this mist I see the path;
a path I've known for a long time.
And the more I focus on the path ahead,
the less the immediate shroud blinds me,
the less the accusations and lies affect me
the more I am reminded that a path set down by Him
cannot be changed by man.
This path has been set in stone,
This path is certain.
This path is good.
I will walk it.

Tim Caird, 04/07/08 (7.21am, prior to tutor meeting)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

And then it got hairier...

2008-07-02T21:34:00.003+01:00

After final assessment today, I was left feeling wholly pants. In short, I was told that there was insufficient evidence for me to pass my PGCE in certain areas; namely assessment strategies & record keeping. With this in mind, a Friday morning meeting has been called with the head of my institute, my tutor and myself to discuss what she thinks.

With this in mind, I have reports to write tomorrow, a profile of a child to complete, and a whole load of writing-things-up to do in order to meet these standards I need to be at. I can honestly say that I'm seriously flagging now at the end of this term, yet am reminded each day that he keeps sustaining me in spirit and body.

It's going to be a tough couple of days, especially considering that an outcome to my PGCE will probably be made on Friday morning. I'm nervous, uncertain, but trusting Him. He'll make his good will clear in His time. I will choose to trust - because if God promised to send and then sent his son to live and die for me, I need no greater reason to trust him at his word.

In the mean time, sleep calls, and then a full-on day tomorrow. Watch this space.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

The end is in sight

2008-06-18T06:45:00.003+01:00

I am officially still alive, though I'm currently in that strange state of mental fuzziness that comes with a lack of sleep! It's been a hard 5-7 days, with discovering that I underestimated the work load of my summer placement by quite a lot & didn't get cracking sooner! With that in mind, my 'final' evaluation did not go as well as it should have. The knock-on effect is that I have a lot of work that I need to complete over the next 12 days alongside my day to day teaching/planning/marking.

What came as a humbling reminder in the aftermath of the evaluation (and in prayer, I ought to add) was that God's got me on this course because he wants me to complete it and take up my post as yr 4 teacher next yerar. As such, he knew that I'd underestimate the requirements for this placement and as a result, struggle to complete the work. Equally important is the fact that God has been sustaining and will continue to sustain me through the remainder of my PGCE.

Coupled with these reminders, in my bible meditation I've been working through Romans 6-8 over the past 2-3 months & the stark challenge has been - am I wanting to walk in the Spirit, or walk in the flesh? I was reminded this morning that I need to be spiritually minded, and in order to do that this involves humbly desiring to walk with God. If we're seeking God to be spiritually minded, allowing ourselves to be guided by the Holy Spirit, then we will know life and peace.

It's going to be hard work, but I praise God that he sustains us when we humble ourselves before him and cry out 'I am weak; be my strength!' Don't forget that this is our God, who 'opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' Prov 3:34. I'm feeling totally shattered, but I can't help but praise God for his strength, his grace, his peace and above all for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for me. Because, as I keep learning, if my joy is set firmly in thankfulness for my sins having been forgiven, no matter how hard he tries, the enemy can't take it away.

Let's crack on :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Running on grace

2008-06-16T23:45:00.005+01:00

Running on grace

Is it really that time already?
I could have sworn it was half-past eight.
But it's now that I'm fast realising
that I'm once again working quite late.

This teaching malarkey's quite draining,
well, 'quite' is a kind way to say
that my energy's drained by the morning
and I ought to be dead by the day.

But despite work I find I'm still going,
it doesn't make sense in my mind.
As the hours I keep (with my severe lack of sleep)
ought to knock me for six in my mind.

So I break for a mo, grab my coffee,
and think why this strange thing should be,
that in spite of the lack of my physical rest
I'm fuelled with enough energy.

My breakfast is just 'bout enough
to last til the mid-morning breather,
but after that's over, work's white cliffs of Dover
loom high over tea's brief reliever!

As for lunch, there I'm working as well,
with the afternoon work needing prep
so rest gets no look-in when children just book in
for that chat that will raise up their pep.

Dinner is rushed, true to say,
and the evenings have so much in store!
That by time home I'm led, the sun's gone to bed,
and I'm back to eight-thirty once more!

So my question has come around again,
how come I've not burned myself out?
Thus with clinical reason, through this ridiculous season,
I learn what my strength's all about.

It's not been the food that I've eaten
and definately not much from rest,
by all human reason, in this Tim-hunting season,
I should have failed this physical test.

Yet I haven't - may I hazard just why?
So simple, a reason, I know,
but when your engine is paced by the joy from that grace,
your fuel never quite runs too low.

This strength, so I learn's, just enough
to do what's required of me.
So may I continue, to walk, his strength in me,
and in grateful, and thankfulness be.

So now at 12:12 comes day's end,
and off to bed now I will lead.
My sleep may seem short, and less than it ought
but in his hands it's just what I need.

Tim Caird - 17/06/08 (12:12am)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Grace

2008-06-08T07:59:00.002+01:00

Grace

'Grace that knocks me 'tween the eyes
reminds me that I'm not despised
Grace that took my sordid stain
and made this sinner whole again
Grace that satisfies my debt,
and keeps the vow I have not kept
Grace that pays the price so high
that in the grave I'll never lie
Grace that's seen this sinner saved
to renewed mind, from thoughts depraved.
Grace that knocks my mind for six
for in this heart, sin and mercy mix
and overcome by mercy's grace
my knee must bow before His face

Grace so undeserved is mine,
may he continue to refine.'

Tim Caird, 8th May 2008

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

How to give a cat a pill

2008-05-27T17:02:00.005+01:00

I was typing this up over the easter hols and couldn't resist sharing it. For all cat lovers (and those up for a laugh too, it's true to say!):

How to give a cat a pill

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and apply gentle pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw away T-shirt and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to miss cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to Casualty, sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes remnants of pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Call RSPCA to collect cat from hell and ring pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill

Wrap it in bacon

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Hurrah!

2008-05-21T19:06:00.007+01:00

As of today I'm now going to be the year 4 teacher at St. Michael's - Woo!

Thank you all of you who have prayed for me, God continues to be good in going ahead of me & job applications have just gone to prove the point even more.

Onwards! Now, where's that planning I need to do...

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

St Michael's Primary School

2008-05-17T09:37:00.003+01:00

A job interview! So rushed, it's unbelievable, but apparently St. Michael's Primary School want to offer me a job interview. This is after I turned up to hand in my job application and look around the school while wearing my biking leathers and met the Head teacher while still wearing them. Quite a funny exchange of conversation, but he didn't try to bolt out the door or jump through the window (always a worrying start to a conversation - 'hello, I'm Tim and...' [sound of glass shattering]) so I'm taking that as a positive start.

Anyhoo, the interview's all Wednesday, including teaching a 40 minute lesson of my choice to a class of year 4s, leading a guided reading session to a class of year 3s, lunch & then the grillage in the afternoon by the top brass. Sweaty palms may also be timetabled in, but this is to be confirmed on the day.

Stay posted!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Walk the path I've paved for you

2008-05-14T22:24:00.002+01:00

Chats about job hunting, uncertainty about where God's wants us, and trusting God in his perfect and good will for us have all inspired this poem:

Walk the path I've paved for you

Walk the path, my saviour said,
The one I’ve paved for you
And you will see the wonderous things
I’ve laid in store for you

I gazed upon the path I saw
But yet I looked away
I didn’t like the things I saw
This was not a known way

And so I took to looking down
To where my feet would tread
And let my footsteps fall
Where my thinking led

But as I walked, I realised
The joy I’d had grew cold
My confidence was far reduced
I strived now far less bold

I kept on walking, more distressed
At each new day that came
I didn’t feel as near as blessed
Each day now felt the same

I tried to lift my eyes to see
Where my steps might take me
But couldn’t bring myself to look
At else than my dusty feet

And then I would begin to fear
Just what would lie ahead?
Around the corner I couldn’t peer,
By me, could I be led?

Yet as the serpent spoke his lies
My saviour spoke to me
His voice, refreshment to my soul,
His words, gave peace to me;

‘Walk the path’, my saviour said,
‘The one I’ve paved for you
And you will see the wonderous things
I’ve laid in store for you’

Focus on the final flag,
The prize that you shall claim
Draw from grace your joy in all
And set your heart upon the same

His hand he offered, his hand I took,
Together we walked on
two feet in front I need not look at,
but on the distant son

‘the journey may be difficult’
He said as walked on, we,
‘But my will for you is perfect
Just trust, and walk with me’

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

What kind of obedience

2008-05-14T17:14:00.003+01:00

"Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."

So Abram went"
-- Genesis 12v1-4a --

Only trusting God can give us faith & obedience like this. Abram went not on a whim, nor because it made sense, but because God told him to go - and he trusted God with his family and all he owned. Here is faith & trust in the face of the uncertain. This is faith I want to cultivate.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Snowboarding at X-scape

2008-05-10T06:58:00.003+01:00

What a surprise it was (at stupid o'clock in the morning, for one thing) to be waking up to go snow-boarding at xscape in Milton Keynes today. Hopefully inbetween bumping into other slope-users and picking myself up off the ground, I'll be able to snap some pics of Sapna (a fellow trainee teacher) and I. If success is found in the picture dept, I will post these pictures, so stay posted!

Time I got ready for lots of fun in the snow, not to mention a painful bum afterwards! Padding ftw :)

Edit: 6.51pm

They didn't allow photos, so they had to be payed for. Sapna and I were not amused! Worth keeping as evidence I wasn't always sliding around on my not-board. Hurrah :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Send in the clowns

2008-05-10T06:54:00.002+01:00

One of my all-time favourite songs is 'Send in the clowns' by Stephen Sondheim. My first introduction to this song was learning and singing it in beautiful four-part harmony while at Monkton Combe School (my secondary school). I stumbled across it on YouTube not that long ago, sung by the melodious Frank Sinatra.

Enjoy those funky chords at the beginning ;)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

In due time (aka have patience, trust & get on with it!)

2008-05-01T07:43:00.004+01:00

Some of you will know that I have just begun my final teaching practice in year at a school in Bracknell, and that we have all started the exciting process of applying for our first teaching post.

This morning I was meditating on Romans 5v6, which says:

'For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.'

The key phrase that jumped out at me was 'in due time'. Think about this phrase in the context of the verse; God sent Jesus to die for the ungodly (don't forget, that's you and me) in due time, i.e. when the time was right - when God decided it was right. Thinking back to the job-hunting now, that simple phrase 'in due time' strikes home to me, and reminds me how impatient I can be in wanting a job, in having that security of a job to go on to after I complete my training.

In light of patience, we're firmly reminded in Proverbs 3 to:

'trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will will make your paths straight.' --Proverbs 3v5-6 --

It's this making straight of our paths that I find so enticing - you want to have the path made straight before you because then you can see what 's going to happen! In all truth though, no matter what the shape or the curve of our paths, they are always made clear in God's time. What we must learn is patience to trust God with our lives, and in order to trust him we must know him - we must decide and dedicate ourselves to immersing ourself in his word. This doesn't mean flicking through a verse every now and then, it means full immersion in the wonderful, inspired and living Word of God.

The more we know of God, the more we will trust him. There's a job out there with my name on it, I know that much! I just need to look for it, applying in faith that God will show me the job he wants me in next year. In due time, he will show me. As he will do for you. Do you trust him to?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Back in the R-D-G, maybe for the last time!

2008-04-21T07:45:00.002+01:00

The Easter hols have come to a close, but in a nut-shell they involved:

Cat visiting for 4 days :D
Visiting my gran
My dad & I spending 3-4 days putting up my mum's new green-house (2 days of which were spent decyphering what part 41 & part 6 were)
Watching plenty of Stargate
Completing 'Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass' on the Nintendo DS (yes, possibly a tad sad to mention that but that's just part of me! :P)
'Some' dissertation work - but the 'some' that was done was good.
Reminders in my quiet times/devotions that I am saved by faith in Jesus' righteousness, and not by anything I can do. Changes in our desires & attitude are what we need now!
Enjoying World of Warcraft, and being challenged about when & how I play it
Much randomness with my fab family, as Cat will attest to ;)
Applying to 5 jobs in Reading & Swindon schools

It's funny to think that in ~10-11 weeks I will be thrown to the world as a newly qualified teacher (children of the world beware! :P ) as it seems not too long ago when I was preparing to start this course. I may do a 'PGCE in a nutshell' post sometime in June, as I know there's a lot I haven't blogged over the last year, and Blogging is something I've missed! Something about writing your thoughts down helps with making them coherant.

On the horizon then is my dissertation (which is on Maths Trails) being handed in on Friday, and my final school placement which begins next Monday & works into full swing with me teaching 100% of a year 3/4 class' lessons for the last 3/4 weeks! I'll try to post updates while I'm in school, but they may be sporadic with the amount of teaching and preparation I'll be doing.

To close, a short scripture in encouragement:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-- Hebrews 12v1-2 --

We may be busy-squared, have much work to do & seem to be 'hedged-in' by things we need to do, but never forget for an instant that we are running this race together - we're made to serve God's glory & part of that is loving & encouraging eachother! As we run, let's throw off the worries & the guilt the enemy tries to trip us up with and fix our focus on God alone. Everything else fits into his will in his time. 'We can do all things through him who gives us strength'!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Who do you have ears for?

2008-03-18T08:03:00.000Z

This was a repeating theme in my bible meditation for quite a while and a real challenge while I've been in school this term; who do I have ears for?

Who do we listen to for our guidance, our acceptance, support and praise. There are 2 voices that we can listen to. On one hand, you have the voice of God (which, it's good to be reminded, brought creation into existence & breathed life into the dry & empty shell that was man) and on the other hand, the voice of normal people like you and me; our friends, colleagues, siblings and brothers and sisters in Christ.

Why does the opinion of other people seem to be so strongly prevelant in our thinking & our attitude in what we say and do?

The world says 'you must win at any cost', God reminds us that he'll prosper our ways if we walk with him.
The world says 'you are lost, you must find fulfillment however you can', God says 'Seek [me] and you shall find [me]', and challenged us to be concerned with his glory, to walk with the Good shepherd.
The world says 'you must be strong if you are to succeed', God tells us to acknowledge our full weakness & walk in his full strength.

Simply, it is the fear of man that tries to grab our hearts so regularly & will end up creating a dependence on other peoples' opinions of us, if we do not learn to be completely satisfied & content in our Lord & saviour, Jesus Christ; in his grace, his love, and our status in his eyes as sons. In short, we must choose to listen to God, and who he says we are; his adopted children, saved by his grace, saved for his purpose, and promised to join him on that glorious day when he returns.

The more I prayerfully think about it, the more I realise that this issue is paramount to our development as children of God, as men and women with hearts after his name. Think about these quick questions: Do you look for acceptance from your friends and colleagues? Do you want to be liked by them? Do you accept their council & readily agree with them, because doing otherwise would make you stand out?

If we are to rightesouly fear God fully in our lives, then we need to remind ourselves each day of his grace. We need to bring our weak bodies to the foot of the rugged cross & be reminded what He gave up for us there, and what he accomplished through Jesus' death. We need to be reminded that God alone is sovereign in our lives, and that his word to us is life. Anything that draws us away from serving him in his will for us is a lie. We must have ears for the truth.

Futher reading on the fear of man & the fear of God: 'When people are big & God is small' & Edward T. Welch

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Why?

2008-01-30T20:13:00.000Z

I just stumbled across this song recently, having heard it while out in India on Lizzie's one-pod (as my friend Caroline calls it). It's a song by Nicole Nordeman, titled 'Why?', and tells the story of the crucifixion through the eyes of a little girl (watching the whole ordeal from Jesus walking up the hill), then Jesus (through the crucifixion), and then God, finishing on the wonderful truth of why Jesus had to die on the cross.

I find it a very moving and powerful song. The lyrics are just underneath the song,
Have a listen and why not post your thoughts on it?

Why?- Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day, just me and my
Daddy. He said I’d finally reached that age, and I
could ride next to him on a horse that of course
was not quite as wide We heard a crowd of people
shouting and so we stopped to find out why There
was that man that my dad said he loved, but today
there was fear in his eyes

So I said Daddy why are they screaming? Why are
the faces of some of them beaming? Why is he
dressed in that bright purple robe? I bet that
crown hurts him more than he shows Daddy please
can’t you do something? He looks as though he’s
gonna cry You said he is stronger than all of
those guys-Daddy please tell me why, why does
everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy and daddy said
I should go inside Some how he knew things would
get stormy, boy was he right But I could not keep
from wondering if there was something he had
to hide So after he left I had to find out, I was
not afraid of getting lost So I followed the
crowds to a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from a cross:

And it said : Father why are they screaming. Why
are the faces of some of them beaming? Why are
they casting their lots for my robes?? This crown
of thorns hurts me more than it shows. Father
please can’t you do something? I know that you
must hear my cry. I thought I could handle a cross
of this size, Father remind me why, why does
everyone want me to die. When will I understand
why?

My precious Son, I hear them screaming. I’m
watching the face of the enemy beaming but soon I
will clothe you in robes of my own. Jesus this
hurts me much more than you know, but this dark
hour I must do nothing. Though I’ve heard your unbearable
cry — the power in your blood destroys all the
lies, soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look there below see the child trembling by her
father’s side. Now I can tell you why, she is why
you must die.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Irn Bru + snowman = ?

2008-01-12T12:50:00.000Z

Being a Scot (and having a deep fondness of high-sugar, worryingly orange drinks), I couldn't resist posting this vid from Donald's blog.

Had me in absolute stitches!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Reading a'hoy, thar be work off the port bow

2008-01-07T22:38:00.001Z

Why the piratey name for the post? I have noooo idea, it just came to mind. What a strange mind I have, but you all knew that anyway so that's that.

A crazily busy term is laid out before me currently, with school placement starting next Monday, and 3 assignments as well as my special study (~8-9k words).

Last week my mind went 'wurgh!', and I got in a real fluster about work and this term, in particular my dissertation length special study. That bout of worrying wasted a good 2 days in me effectively saying, 'it can't be done, I can't do it!' But then Saturday made me take a pause as He gently, but firmly reminded me of something needed to hear:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
-- Proverbs 3v5-6 --

What had I been doing? Trusting in the power of Tim; which, I was humbly reminded again, amounts to diddly and a portion of squat. Looking back to last term, God held me firmly through the school experience, the assignments, and whatever else came along. Why should be not uphold me this term?

How easily we forget God's sovereign hand, and let our eyes drop to the rocky ground directly in front of us. And as I was reminded on Sunday, that focus of ours needs to be raised to the goal, to the author and perfecter of our faith: Jesus Christ. Only when it's set on him, does every worry melt into insignificance beside his glorious faithfulness, his ultimate power and total capability to provide for our every need.

It's not for no reason he commands us to trust; this is the command of a loving father, capable of anything.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Home, home on the range

2007-12-18T00:15:00.000Z

After a lovely weekend spent in Guildford with Miss Hare, and having braved the journey home on my motorbike, I'm now back in my cosy old room for the next 3 weeks. It's true to say this will not be a holiday in the 'put your feet up' sense of the word, but I'm looking forward to some hard work during the day, scrabble and fun antics in the evenings with my mum, dad and sister Emma, and the staying of a certain someone over new years eve.

Hurrah for time spent with special people :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Who lives there?

2007-12-09T22:21:00.000Z

I heard this cracking quote of Martin Luther's in church today:

"If anyone knocks at the door of my heart and says 'Who lives there?' my answer is 'Jesus Christ lives here, not Martin Luther' "

I found myself wondering: would I state straight away that it is Jesus that is Lord of my heart - hes the one that lives there; or would I instead reply that 'it's me, Tim, the same guy that's always lived here! Who were you expecting?'

I find it's good to ask, 'Is Jesus in my thoughts, is his sacrifice written on my heart, do I bear his scars with pride or resentment?

Do I hold him up proudly, and call him Lord?

Does he live there, and will I let him rule in my heart?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Ceilidh goodness, and a landmark evening

2007-12-01T16:33:00.000Z

Ok, first, a Ceilidh is not a barn-dance! I don't know how many people I've had to tell that to, but now that that's out the way I'll move on :)

The title refers to my mum and dad's 25th wedding anniversary! Last weekend seems longer than a week ago already, (though I'll put that down to PGCE!) but it was such a wonderful and special time. 65 friends and family from 20+ years ago managed to make it. A splendid buffet was put on by my mum, with Cat and I serving the drinks. Oooh yes, that's a point, Cat had the rather scary first meeting of my parents, family and friends in one foul swoop on Saturday. She did fantastically though, and raised smiles all over :)

The ceilidh itself was amazingly fun, and energetic as per standard, so my dad and I had marvelous fun wheeling around in our kilts while the tired people at the sides laughed their sides off at our antics on the dance floor ;)

Concluding the evening was a very special time of my parents both giving dedications and thanks to each other for the past 25 years, while we watched on from the sides.

Definitely a weekend that none of us will forget.

Now I need to repay the favour for Cat by hopefully meeting her parents after the new year. Excited, and a tad nervous would sum me up nicely!

Some pics from the evening:

Cat and I manning the bar

Ceilidh dancing, the 'basket', where the ladies are lifted off the ground. I found this rather hard to support as most of the other men were a tad taller than me ;)

Enough of my prattlings, I must be back to my penultimate assignment which needs some more work done to it. EAL in Maths, and I'm actually finding it rather interesting :)

TTFN, until soon,

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Sometimes, just being there is enough

2007-11-17T16:58:00.000Z

It's a funny thing, in a way, when you think of it. Sometimes we get so caught up on saying and doing the right thing, that we miss the obvious. Just being there for someone.

Why is it, I wonder, that we (guys especially) always want to 'fix' situations! We want to be able to provide that word in season (2 Tim 4v2), to be able to do something that will somehow immediately sort the situation. I often find that I try and find this one thing, that can be said or done, that will solve the problem!

But then I'm reminded of times when friends are facing really tough times; job issues, personal problems like depression and anorexia, relationship and family issues. And often there is nothing that can be done right there, nothing that can be said to help or ease the situation - apart from showing that person that you are there for them; that you will sit with them, let them cry on your shoulder, and support them through whatever it is they're going through.

A hug can say more than a thousand words, a comforting hand on a shoulder can speak louder than a shout to the world - it says you're there for them.

Often I find it hard in some ways to accept this, but keep finding time and time again that sometimes, just being there is enough.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Still alive, and working. Oooh yes...

2007-11-13T20:46:00.000Z

Alive, yes. Full of free time, no!

I think that sums up my life nicely atm. I've just completed my 3 week block placement at Geoffrey Field Junior School in Whitley (Reading) which has been somewhat of a baptism by fire in terms of behaviour management and classroom control, but the time has sped by and I find myself missing my year 6's already!

I took the weekend off from academic work (on advice of my tutor!) and enjoyed a lovely weekend in Guildford, gatecrashing the Surrey CU's houseparty, and spending lots of time with the lovely Miss Hare - by far my favourtie part of the weekend =D

Now the week has kicked back in, I find myself in 6th gear and knee-deep in work, but that's fine, really. Why? Because I keep getting reminded that God gives you the strength you need, when you rely on him fully and set your heart on honouring him; work, friends, personal life, troubles, the whole shabang. Colossians 3v23 reminds us to work at whatever we've been given, 'as working for the Lord', reminding us that 'It is the Lord Christ you are serving.'

And that's a great reminder - whether our work is uni-based, or out in the world in one of those 'paid jobs' that I hear so much about :P - because, in keeping our hearts fully set on God in our work, then we find it hard to grumble and complain, we find it hard to lose sight on the true goal of our salvation ('you know you will receive an inheritance' - Col 3v23), and find that strength we so often need in our work to keep ploughing on in the face of tiredness, ridicule for holding the faith we do, and whatever the enemy throws at us to try to trip us up.

If a heart's fully set on glorifying God, then even the greatest snare snaps like rotten string before God's Grace & steadfast hand.

Let's keep that heart of ours fully set on glorifying him. The next couple of weeks are going to be ridiculous for us peeps on PGCE, but I know that God continues to strengthen me and hold me fast. May that be enough for us :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Know me that you may trust me

2007-10-28T15:05:00.000Z

It’s so easy to say 'trust in the Lord', or 'trust God on this one', but do we really understand what we’re saying when we encourage & challenge ourselves and each other with these words?

Take a step back from trusting God though, and ask yourself why do you trust a person you know, say, a friend, your boy/girl-friend, spouse or a family member? What is it about them that you trust? Is it their kindness, their reliability, their wisdom or maybe other character traits? Is it the things they do, or have done for you or others? Now imagine you’re introducing this friend of yours to someone else, and wanting for them to be able to trust your friend as much as you do. The truth is that no matter how much you tell them, they can’t trust them as much as you do on the outset; the simple reason being that they don’t know your friend like you do. They don’t know their habits, their great character traits, their care or their reliability, their wisdom or their humility – they only know what you’ve told them. Word of mouth, is not the same as knowing someone.

Can we, therefore, expect ourselves to just trust in the Lord? Simply, we can’t; not if we don’t know the person of God, his ways and promises; not if we don’t know past examples from his word & our own lives that remind us of his goodness & faithfulness. To equip us for trusting God, we must truly know him – not in the sense of being able to recite bible verses, sermon notes and good ideas, but in the real sense of walking each day with God, and reading and meditating on his word each and every day.

If you really want to trust God’s will with your whole heart, and know what it is to have his peace in you each day, then that has to involve total surrender to him in that heart of yours – and you will only do that, if you know who you’re entrusting your heart’s desires to. To trust him, you must know him. And to know him, we must immerse ourselves in him – know his word (to teach you who he his), remember his grace (to remind you each day, what he’s done for you in Jesus), and walk with his spirit (to know what he’s wanting to work out in you each and every day).

If we are in the business of truly wanting to trust God fully – or maybe it’s just a situation that you’re having difficulty submitting to God – then remember who he is; that he is the God of love, the God of compassion, the God of power and strength, the God of the broken-hearted, the God of justice, and he faithful God, who hears our cries and always answers.

Remember who he is, and trust him.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

I'll praise you as I ought

2007-10-28T14:18:00.000Z

'Weak is the effort of my heart,
and cold my warmest thought;
but when I see you as you are,
I'll praise you as I ought.'

-John Newton, 'How sweet the name of Jesus sounds'-

I sang these words in church today and they struck me afresh. Here we are, trying to give praise to God that rightly glorifies his name, and we then realise that no collection of words could ever fully describe his glory, his majesty, his love, compassion and beauty. The Almighty God is just too far beyond our imagining to put into mere words! When you remember this, the spirit's work in praise becomes clear, 'interceding for us with groans that words can't express' (Romans 8v26).

That verse by John Newton doesn't just acknowledge our meagre, yet heart-felt praise falls short of fully glorifying God, but gives a wonderful reminder that there will be a time when we will be able to praise him as he created us to, and that time is coming! Hallelujah! Come to think of it, how can we describe anyone fully if we've never seen them face to face, let alone expect to praise God in such a way that fully describes his gloriousness and beauty?

Praise God that that time is coming, when we will stand before him and praise him as we ought! Praise his name, that he accepts our heart-felt praises just as they are, and is pleased by them. Praise our glorious heavenly father, that he gave up Jesus for us; whatever our circumstances, that alone is worthy of our heart-felt praise for our whole lives!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Dealing with hatred

2007-10-24T07:30:00.001+01:00

It's a bit of a strong title, but hatred is something we should be very wary of as Christians, as it can divide us from our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ, and most importantly it distances us from God. This is why we must be wary!

In my bible meditation, I am working through Acts a verse or 2 at a time, and today's verses were Acts 23v14-15:

'They (the group of 40+ Jews) went to the chief priests and elders and said, "We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul. Now then, you and the Sanhedrin petition the commander to bring him before you on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about his case. We are ready to kill him before he gets here."'
(emphasis added)

This God-following group of 40 Jews had sworn themselves under a curse to kill Paul because of his professed belief in Jesus. As the passage says, they went and tried to get the chief priests and elders in on this plot born out of unrighteous anger.

We have to be wary not just of hatred in ourselves, but of hatred in others as well, and how quickly it can spread - from us to others, and others to us if we are not guarding our hearts. But I was immensely encouraged again at God's provision against hatred, anger & a host of other sins - and that is his love as the guard in our hearts.

What does this mean for us? It means we must be vigilent & discerning by the holy spirit, not just for our hearts, but for those around us; that they'd be protected from other people's hatred, and that they'd have God's love melting that hatred away whenever it threatens to flare up.

Most importantly for us, are we confessing this sin to God when it first occurs in us? We must confess it & ask for God's love to cover it, if we're to be that shining light of righteousness, grace & mercy that we're called to be. If we're discerning by his spirit, testing the things we hear & think, and rooted in his love, then we will stand firm. Hallelujah! Hatred has no place to stand in a heart that's full to the brim with love.

Let's strive & seek God earnestly for hearts like this!

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

4 weeks in

2007-10-07T22:07:00.000+01:00

I'm still alive!

Much to the surprise of, well, no-one to tell the truth, though I feel that someone might possibly be surprised.

Anyway...

I've had a grrreat first 4 weeks thus far. I'm being fed ridiculous amounts of education type stuff, and I've had 1 day in school so far (year 6), and have found that they're to be my class for the term - meaning I have 2 days this coming week, and then 3 weeks with half-term in the middle coming up the follow 4 weeks. Woo! I am very excited about being in school in general, and am loving the fact that I know I'm where God wants me, so I can just give each day up to him and get on with it. Huzzah! :D

This weekend was a nice respite, with Cat coming a'visiting from Saturday til Sunday, enjoying a spot of cookie-baking, Hero-Quest (board game version of Dungeons and Dragons), and going to church and 'spoons on Sunday. All in all a fantastic weekend, much fun had by all - Dave & Marie included, and there are even some cookies left.

Yum :)

Above is Cat following my instruction to 'put all the ingredients in the pan'. I did rather ask for that though!

Pics for the weekend are viewable on facebook here: Cookies and Hero-Quest

Time to sign off as I need a good night's beauty sleep for school tomorrow. I'll be back soon, stay tuned for more :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

First week & friday evening

2007-09-22T10:03:00.001+01:00

Well, I have survived the first week on PGCE. Hurrah! It's been intensive, lots to take in, and the reality of the amount of hard work that'll need to be put into this year to get the most out of it is becoming apparent.

But I'm loving it!

It's true to say that despite the ridiculous amount of work, background reading and lack of social life (woooooo!!) that's going to come with this year, I know that I'm where God wants me. And I'm gradually learning that that's enough for me :)

As a treat, I let myself out for the evening (what a racey and crazy person I am, I hear you say) to unleash the Disney channel premiere of 'High-school musical 2' upon my senses. Thank you Lizzie. If you haven't seen it yet, it truly is a kids version of Grease, thankfully cleaner, and so cheesy you could make a beast of a toasty with it if I'd brought my machine along.

In short, a lot of fun, especially in trying to predict what happened next (inevitably a group of people spontaneously breaking into song on a golf course).

Much fun had. I really ought to watch the first one sometime though...

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Back in the R D G

2007-09-14T22:26:00.000+01:00

I've just got back to Reading, after 1 year away and it really does feel nice to be back! Granted, in a different area of town, with a different course, and in a different house, but I really do like Reading :)

So it's all go for me now, starting this Monday coming over at Bulmershe. Just a short post, just to let you all know I'm still around.

And for those wondering, the pond's part of the Bulmershe campus ;)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal