Next steps

Here's the nutshell version of today's events.

After the meeting this morning, I was informed that they were failing me due to a variety of reasons, effectively summarised by me not having 'pulled my weight' outside of the classroom. Fighting this corner would not have helped & so I've accepted the reply.

I was given 2 ultimatums, fail and give up, or fail and I find another school which will allow me to complete my 7 week teaching block and pay the assessment fee at the end.

I phoned up my head teacher to be for this coming September and went into school to discuss the situation with him and the deputy head. The humbling outcome of this is that they still want to have me teach the year 4 class, and will be organising cover appropriately to allow the deputy head to mentor me for the first 7 weeks of the Autumn term to fulfil the 7 week block requirement.

All this has been an extreme emotional rollercoaster of a morning, from failure to perfectly planned out hope for the time to come. I'd like to share part of my quiet time from today, specifically what God said:

'I have gone ahead of you and I know the plans I have for you. They will come to pass and nothing shall change this. Trust me for this day then, my son and go in my peace, which passes understanding. I am with you; and I shall never leave you nor forsake you. Now, go.'

His reminder that his plans will come to pass has proved to be particularly applicable today, and though after the meeting I felt wretched and was happily crying away, this didn't change the fact that his plans would come to pass; his good plans for me.

In the light of yesterday's quiet time where God said, 'I have called you to be a teacher, do not lose heart, but work as you must to achieve QTS - I will provide the means to achieve it', He has shown himself to be fully faithful yet again, in providing amazingly supportive head and deputy head teachers at my new school, and a willingness to meet my needs.

In reflection, that's quite a big nutshell - but I couldn't leave it in its simple form when all I can do at the moment (and have been able to do for the past 3 weeks) is praise God for his faithfulness in having gone ahead of me in all these things, in providing my daily bread in encouragement & reminders to focus on him, and in providing for my physical and job-based needs.

On another note, I'm teaching my class to be for 2 days in 2 weeks, which I'm dead excited about as I'm planning on having them put together a class newspaper for the school over the 2 days! As for now, packing must be done, as I'm moving out in 9-10 hours!

Thank you to you all for your continued prayer and encouragement, God has worked his indescribable peace through those prayers & what a joy it is to be reminded that his plans are firmly in place - no man has the power to change them.

Praise God! Now, let's crack on :)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

Outlook

I look ahead, and what do I see?
The path seems shrouded, hard to understand
I look to the left, for it seems inviting
I look to the right, for it looks clear
then I look in front of me
and that same shroud cover the way ahead.
Yet focussing through this mist I see the path;
a path I've known for a long time.
And the more I focus on the path ahead,
the less the immediate shroud blinds me,
the less the accusations and lies affect me
the more I am reminded that a path set down by Him
cannot be changed by man.
This path has been set in stone,
This path is certain.
This path is good.
I will walk it.

Tim Caird, 04/07/08 (7.21am, prior to tutor meeting)

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

And then it got hairier...

After final assessment today, I was left feeling wholly pants. In short, I was told that there was insufficient evidence for me to pass my PGCE in certain areas; namely assessment strategies & record keeping. With this in mind, a Friday morning meeting has been called with the head of my institute, my tutor and myself to discuss what she thinks.

With this in mind, I have reports to write tomorrow, a profile of a child to complete, and a whole load of writing-things-up to do in order to meet these standards I need to be at. I can honestly say that I'm seriously flagging now at the end of this term, yet am reminded each day that he keeps sustaining me in spirit and body.

It's going to be a tough couple of days, especially considering that an outcome to my PGCE will probably be made on Friday morning. I'm nervous, uncertain, but trusting Him. He'll make his good will clear in His time. I will choose to trust - because if God promised to send and then sent his son to live and die for me, I need no greater reason to trust him at his word.

In the mean time, sleep calls, and then a full-on day tomorrow. Watch this space.

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal