At the top of the stairs stands a monster

As you read the poem, do you know the secret identity of the monster?

At the top of the stairs stands a monster

At the top of the stairs stands a monster

A towering, monsterous fiend.

Its eyes glow with malice and menace

Its hair lies unkempt and unclean.

The foul smelling scent of old undies

Wafts pungent and stale down the stairs

A gnarly old grin shows off sickening teeth

So be sharp, don’t get caught unawares!

Those two swarthy arms hold a basket

Filled with the evilest stinks

And up from that pit drifts a terrible stench

Which, believe me’s far worse than you think!

The beastie rears up on its hind legs

Resting on pink hairy pads

Each of its claws, counting twenty in all,

Are disgustingly clipped and unclad.

Gulping, in sight of the monster

I’m doomed for, it’s safe to assume,

The beastie breathes in and, with terrible force, cries out

‘Thomas! Go tidy your room!’

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal

If all the world were candyfloss

One for the kids, though don't ask me where it came from!

If all the world were candyfloss

If all the world were candyfloss,

I think I’d have quite a task

To stop myself from eating

Everyone that I walked past

I’d try to get to school

But by the time I reached the gates

I’d have eaten up the bus driver

And maybe Mrs Yates.

Imagine if you could guzzle down teachers,

Now wouldn’t that be cool?!

By morning break I’d probably

Have eaten half the school.

And in that scary staff-room,

I’d lick my lips and say

“if you don’t make break 3 hours long,

I’ll gobble you up right away!”

I’d walk right into libraries

And wander down the isles,

And if someone told me to ‘shush’

I’d gobble them up in a smile!

As I strolled along the highstreet,

I’d much on lamp posts too,

And knowing my luck, whether panther or duck

The animals in the zoo!

And just imagine, on the hills,

All of those cows and sheep!

It’d be just like those fairground stalls

With cotton candy treats!

But most of all I think I’d like

To eat my parents up.

After they always ask

To help them to clean up.

So tell me, adults in your chairs

and don't be mad or cross,

aren't you glad this wonderful world's

not made of candy floss?

TheWeeScottie

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weird is just your own personal brand of normal