Ode to MATLAB

*shock!*

*gasp!*

yes, I have indeed written an ode to MATLAB. It's now 11.15pm and I'm on the verge of calling it a day on the programming front - MATLAB has triumphed yet again :P however, I've come to realise that I cannot beat it, I refuse to join it, so I shall instead parody it into the ground :)

Night all!

Ode to MATLAB

'Sometimes I sit an wonder
Why matlab needs to be
It likes to sit and fry my brain
Grey matter that is me

How can a program in a box
That comes up on my screen
Look so helpful, yet at heart
Be scarily mean!

It could be that my programming
Lacks the matlab punch
But while I ponder x & y
It chomps away my brain – munch!

Each time I get up from my desk
It seems I cart around less brain
This coding antic saps my life
Like juice, from raspberries in a strain(er)!

Oh matlab beastie in your box
Will you for once be content,
If I should feed you tasty code
Instead of dried cement?

You wonder why I speak like this
My code, a dried grey mass?
Quite frankly though, it comes out slow
And sets before it lasts!

6 weeks or more I’ve fought with it
I’ve battled to its core!
But after all my coding fight,
My brain's out cold on the floor!

Maybe one day I’ll master it
Padouin shall the master be!
But now I speak like Yoda, so
It’s off to bed for me'

TheWeeScottie

13/03/06
Note: I've had pointed out to me that the poem doesn't scan well, rhyme correctly (well, by any recognised rhyme scheme or under the dictionary definition of 'rhyme') or make any sense. I accept this, and intend to do nothing about it! It was always meant in fun, although I might have to do something about it just to stop these friends of mine reminding me about it ;)
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if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...