A wee poem which came to mind as I read a post called, Dancing with the darkness by a friend of Cat's, Tanya Marlow. I'd urge you to read her post as it is very honest and incredibly helpful for anyone who's facing a darkness in their life.
Dancing with the dark
I looked out the window and there it stood
It stared at me
Waved at me
In its eyes, it said "I'm here.
You can close the curtains
But I am still here.
I am not going away."
My fears and trepidations
stared me straight in my eye.
I raised my hand to the curtain
took a bunch of cloth in my hand
This soothing shield
These patterned blinkers
Drowning out the sound of his voice
Blinding me to his presence
Blanketing my thoughts in soft and warming activities
Things which are good and wonderful
Bright and cheerful
But cannot remove the dark
I raise my hand to the other curtain,
ready to slam them across
and block out the sight, the sound, the memory
if only temporarily
But then I decided
I would not shy away
I would hide from my dark no more.
I dropped my hands to my side
And flicked on the light
Brightness shone behind me
light flicked around the window pane
I looked at my dark
I stared it square in the eye
And I decided
I shall dance with my darkness
I shall face my fears
Not alone, for the light is with me
He took my hand in a battle-like grip
And I met his forward step.
We danced and spun,
Pirouetted and jived,
Tangoed and street danced,
Threw our bodies around through all he could give
and with the light, I gave as good as I got.
We danced together, the dark and I,
I did not shy away.
And it controlled me no more
but I learned from the light
to let go my control
and find the strength of the light in the darkness
For how could I learn to dance with my enemy
If I did not take the first step?
I chose to embrace that which frightens me most
And I danced with my darkness
feeling the light at my side
For the darkness has followed me
All of my life
Yet, in that moment
As we danced, the darkness and I,
My fear fell away
The darkness' power was broken.
Exhausted, we collapsed
On my living room floor
My darkness eyed me,
And at last, I held its stare,
I slept like a babe
With the light all around
Knowing full well
That the darkness was there.