Friday, December 30, 2005

What's your true colour?

In my quest to discover more interesting uses for the internet (apart from work, obviousely) I have been emailed this test by a friend: What's your true colour?.

Apparently I'm yellow! Well, it explains a bit about 'me' below:

I'm liking the whole 'sunny disposition' thing, but I'd like to have YOUR opinion, yes yours, honest blog-reader, on whether this reflects me! Answers, as always, on a postcard or, considering the Christmas/New Years post, just leave a comment ;)

But what's with the disturbing yellow dress?! Hang about, that's a girl's head as well...



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Cake! Cakes have layers...

Afternoon tea was a fantastic time today, as I had the priviledge of trying the most delicious cake you have ever tasted!

Chocolate to the extreme! Thick gooey icing, chocolate decorations, and 2 (yes 2!) layers of thick yummy chocolate cream...

2 minutes after I picked up the fork I was sad to see that the plate was remarkably empty, but then again I had also lost sight of my toes so it must be good stuff!

So yes, 3 cheers for yummy chocolate cake! And a standing ovation for Zoe who made it for us, Woo!!



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Extreme patience

As you may have guessed, I'm not referring to my debatable level of patience, I am talking about the latest craze to sweep my messenger-based life. Yes indeedy, MSN messenger's not just good for wasting hours of your time, you can now play games -- and therefore waste time in new and more interesting ways ;)

Cat put up a good fight, but I'm sure we all know who won over all for the last 3 days...

Yes, that's right, Cat




if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Knowing God's will

Currently in my quiet times, I'm meditating in John 21, which covers the miraculous catch of fish, and Jesus re-instating Peter.

In verses 15-17 we find Jesus famously asking Peter if he loves him, three times, leading to the following in verse 17:

'The third time, he [Jesus] said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."...'
-- John 21v17 (NIV) --

So have said to me that this reflects the three times Peter denied Jesus in the temple courtyard back in John 18v15-18, 25-27.

Peter's reaction is understandable, having just affirmed that he loved Jesus twice before. But what really struck me about this verse was not Peter's hurt reaction, but that he was confused as to why Jesus had asked him the same sensitive thing, yet again. I feel Peter was more hurt than understanding of Jesus here.

Jesus was not taunting Peter here, no, for that is not God's nature.

I was reminded that whenever God speaks to us, just as with Peter, he never speaks idly or meaninglessly; he speaks with purpose! As for understanding what he's saying, we need to remember that it's the Holy Spirit that opens the bible to our ears, and it is therefore God that we need to seek, in order to understand his will for us.

We can be assured that what he teaches and speaks to us is for our good, and for his glory, though we may be walking a dark path at the moment. What is key here, therefore, is that we need to seek God wholeheartedly -- and it's the whole he seeks. And in doing this, he will reveal his plan to us, in his time, and when that part of his plan is right for us.

Praise God that:
  • he knows what's going on, because he's watching over and walking with us
  • his plan for us is good, even though we can't see how sometimes
  • HE is good, in every way. In sending Jesus to a cruel world, his love is made concrete in our hearts and minds

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


Aaah yes, the paint pots, rollers and brushes were out today in force as my dad, sis and I set to painting the new room. Very exciting stuff, as our garage is now 2/3 its original size, and there's now paint everywhere!!

in a good way...


hmm yeh, a chronic case of over-all-itus. On the up-side, it had more pockets than I've had hot meals, so useful! could carry everything from screwdrivers, to pain brushes, to egg timers in there...

Before you say anything, I KNOW i'm short, tho no doubt Cat's thinking 'you're not that short...' to herself! Besides which, that bit was really high - at least 1.70m!!

Nothing like a family effort, here's dad doing more work than me, AND doing a better job of it! I blame all those years of experience ;)

And the intrepid hard-working tag-team of Caird and Caird take a brief respite to show just how much fun painting a hallway and room to Classic FM can actually be!!

More tales to follow. Coming soon: outside lights, and what happens when you give cats coffee and pro-plus ;)



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

I like big butts...

Well it was mum's idea... we both had a good laugh in the kitchen about it! Incidentally, this is my mum's christmas prezzy from my uncle. She did ask for it, but still, a water butt?!!

*rolls eyes*

I hope when I hit 50, that I'm not as enthralled with the prospect of a festive water butt. But being 50 has its perks...



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Reflections & Evil Pinkness

Yes indeedy, there is finally an update on my other blog, scribblings of a mad scientist, reflecting on the past 2 weeks.

As for the pinkness, yes it is indeedy evil, evil I tell you! Here I was, setting up this blog, and little did I realise (until today, no less) that all the headings were in PINK!! And the thing is (amusing to the everyone apart from me) that I don't know how to change it to another colour!

Oh woh is me... maybe I ought to accept it and buy a matching shirt?



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...


As a lot of your will know, my gran’s recently taken up temporary residency in West Berks Hospital, shortly being upgraded to a mansion in paradise. Tho’ it’s been hard over the last 2 weeks – crazy to think it’s only been 2 – and priorities have changed for me this hols, the over-riding thing that has kept joy in my heart has been that she is soon going to be in Heaven, pain-free, and able to worship God the way he meant us to.

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
-- Revelation 21v4 --

I know this verse relates when Jesus returns, but I know that when my gran comes into Heaven all the above will be true for her.

Praise God that we have this same hope for our lives; not hope in the human sense of ‘I hope this will happen’, but in the terms that Jesus meant – an eternal hope, a definite and real hope that we can stake our lives upon.

It's true, I'm going to miss my gran something rotten when God welcomes her into his presence, but praise God indeed that he is so loving that one day he will take us from our physical and mental infirmity, and cloth us in his righteousness in Heaven.

And yes, I'm going to meet her again. THAT is where my joy comes from, and Heaven is where my hope lies

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Premature Santa

My goodness me! What a surprise to find, as I crept downstairs for a late-night sherry (only joking, I was off to brush my teeth!) I found that Santa had already been! :o

I can only conclude, that the only way Santa can get all our presents to their relevant stockings in time for tomorrow, is indeed to deliver some the night before when he thinks we've gone to bed. Little did I know that I had accidentally duped Santa by saying goodnight to my household.

*sighs* will the magic ever be the same??!



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

50th chocolates

Happy 50th Birthday to my mum, yeah! :D including a surprise burthday lunch with 16 friends and family!!

But here we have the cream of the presents (well, milk chocolate)...

Have you ever SEEN such a large box of chocs?! Man alive, maybe I ought to turn 50... Would you buy me chocolates like this if I turned 50?

Answers on a postcard, or alternatively in the form of a comment on this post :)



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Friday, December 23, 2005


Hey all, as some of you will know, the last 2 weeks have been very emotionally-charged for my family and me, as my gran had a fall on Sunday, resulting over the week in her being in hospital. The docs don't give her more than a couple of days, but she's gonna be in Heaven soon, so I've got peace about it.

Above all things, this has been an amazing time for me drawing close to, and relying upon God. He has consistently sustained and looked after us for the last 3 weeks, and I know he will continue to.

'Homesick' is the name of a song that is very close to my heart now, and will become moreso when God finally embraces my gran in his heavenly arms soon...

by Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never felt more homesick than now

These concluding lines are a constant reminder to me that God is the only one we can turn to for strength - in times when we're on top of the world, and most noticeably when we're at rock bottom. But, PRAISE be to our Father God, that he is ALWAYS FAITHFUL to answer our prayers. Peace is his to give, and he has given it - just look at jesus :)



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Cakes and sunsets

Just looking up from the cake-making extravaganza of the Caird kitchen and this beautiful sunset greeted my eyes...

All I can say is wow. Times like this give us a glimpse of God's imagination, and the blessing that the light spectrum is. Just think, if we could only see in infra-red, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the beauty of it!

God is indeed an amazing guy, I wouldn't trade the life he's giving me for anything :) and just think, one day, as I am reminded of lately, we're gonna stand in his presence and praise him. Infinite joy in exchange for a moment's pain -- Truly awesome stuff!! :D



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Burning down the house...

Not actually the house, but definately most of the garden! Man alive, there was SO much garden rubbish to burn (unfortunately my sis Emma won't let me burn the VERY annoying plastic rabbit outside)


aaah well, anyways, here's the highlights of the roaring success of today...

here we are getting going, lots of greenery, lots of fun ;)

hehe found this sign in the detritous (new word, courtesy of dad!) of wood and stuff, not sure if mum'll appreciate it as a prezzy tho...

Spot the old bird table. *thinks* hmm, wonder if this'll burn well...

woo yeah! Burn baby buuuurn!! :D 'nuff said really, man it was hot, hot enough to melt err... something.. that doesn't melt much... but it was hot, yeh hot! My pokey stick and me couldn't get within 2 metres of it!

aaah here we are, THIS is my pokey stick, good for poking fires with :)

5 hours (yes that's right, FIVE!) and nigh-on 2 tonnes of greenery/wood bits later we headed in, but even now it's still smouldering...

I thankfully only lost half the hair on my left arm, got a scratch on my right arm, and 2 blisters. What a great day this has been! Fire, and a good amount of it.

What do we learn from this then?! *clears throat*

'Fire's bad kids, don't do fire!' (unless you're an aspiring pyromaniac like me ;)



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

new blog

aye up all :)

something I have been wanting to do for a while has now been done -- I have started up a 2nd blog for the day-to-day me and other things :) so this blog'll be purely for poetry and stuff like that so do keep checking it out :)

chronicles of a short person

thought you'd appreciate that Ceryn!

episode one: a new blog

Greetings one and all, welcome to my new blog - specifically set up so's I can put random stuff up about what's going on in the life of me (and probably some other random things also :) I'm keeping my other blog, scribblings of a mad scientist, specifically for poetry so keep an eye on that for updates. Odds are I'll pop links to them here as well :)

I've got a new post coming in the next 30 mins or so, but I've got to upload the pix! Patience my young padouin, patience...



if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

Monday, December 19, 2005

-- Intermission --

Hey all you faithful people wot check up on my blog, sorry there's not been an update in a couple of weeks - I've got about 3 or 4 different titles/themes to write on, and have just not been in the poetic groove! Honestly, I don't know... anyways what was I going to say... aaah yes, I'll get on the case and hopefully there'll be a new poem up here soonish!!

In the mean time, was humblingly reminded today that we just cannot afford to allow pride to take a hold in our lives:

'We are only who we now are, because of who he is- anon

It's only ever been totally about who Jesus is!! :D no matter how pants we are, he is still the same awesome, glorious, holy, faithful friend and saviour that we know; and on that glorious day when we stand before God, he will look upon us and say welcome. Talk about wow ;)

Keep your hearts on Heaven guys, it's gonna be AWEsome!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Seven things

As requested by Cat:

Seven things to do before I die

1. Publish a book of poetry
2. Be devoted to a wife, and raise children to know Jesus
3. Work with children
4. Bungy-jump!
5. Learn to drive
6. Visit some other countries!
7. Work overseas for God

Seven things I cannot do

1. Understand fashion
2. Stop making people laugh/smile
3. Be lost from God
4. Marry an iguana
5. Slate the Welsh (Big-it up to the celts Ceryn!)
6. Be totally sensible (some would argue, partially...)
7. Not be enthralled by gadgets, gizmos and fun techy things!

Seven things that (will) attract me to my spouse

1. She inspires me to go on with God
2. Fun/cheeky sense of humour
3. She knows how to help me chill/calm down (talk about a miracle!)
4. Her passion to serve God wherever she is
5. She challenges me in my faith openly
6. She loves me, and I her, totally
7. We will both share a trust in God for his plan

Seven things I say most often

1. (many quotable embarrasing phrases, Sal has a good list if you wanna ask her!)
2. Dude!
3. Y'wot?
4. So I was, like...
5. You're joking, right?
6. See you guys later whoops, wrong door...
7. That's just wrong...

Seven books I love (Bible not included)

1. Lord of the Rings & Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
2. Congo - Michael Crichton
3. Hunt for the Red October - Tom Clancy
4. The Odyssey - Homer/Virgil?
5. I kiss dating goodbye - Josh Harris
6. Boy meets girl - Josh Harris
7. Kipper's book of counting - Kipper the dog (I have run out of ideas!)

Seven movies I watch over and over again

1. Beauty and the Beast (as Disney is the best thing since sliced bread!)
2. Pay it forward
3. Kung Pow: Enter the fist
4. Shrek 1+2
5. Underworld
6. XXX (Vin Diesel)
7. Forrest Gump

Seven music CDs I love

1. The Einaudi collection - Echoes
2. Watermark - Enya
3. The Second Decade (1993-2003)- Michael W. Smith
4. Songbird - Eva Cassidy
5. Jimmy Eat World - Jimmy Eat World
6. Running with Scissors - Weird Al Yankovic
7. Disc One - Barenaked Ladies (not as bad as it sounds!)

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Garden Walk

Mary's encounter with Jesus at the tomb has been on my mind for a while. Tonight, I read a poem by Graham Oakes called 'Come and see' , describing Mary's encounter with Jesus after his rising from the dead (Hallelujah!!). The verse that particularly struck me is as follows:

'"Mary", was all she had to hear
she knew, at once, her Lord was near.
Here in the Garden, at her side,
and here she ever would abide.'

Thus, I found myself powering-on my ibook to write a poem from the 3rd person, watching events unfold. Because, we have all walked, or are walking the paths of this garden, searching.

The Garden Walk

Along these garden paths she treads,
with burden of a heavy heart;
the cherished joy of hers lies dead
why must this pain taste so tart?

She stumbles on, forces herself on,
but why this gruesome fate?
Butchered for some trumped-up charge
why exchange such love for hate?

His life was one of love and peace
a light to the dark he brought.
Yet now the light of all her life
rests in a cell, by darkness wrought

The tomb draws near, such darkness there;
such darkness in my heart.
But what of her, when he’s laid to rest?
What’s then to be her part?

The tomb is there, but no guard she sees,
no cold stone denies her way.
Her master’s body now not there,
where once she knew he lay.

What trick is this? Who can be so cruel?,
her heart aloud does cry.
This one last thing she sought to do
but e’en this task now seems denied.

Stumbling from the open tomb,
she barely sees the man,
patiently waiting, not far from her
with love as only he can.

At last she looks, he comes to sight,
‘Where lies my lord’, she cries.
‘Mary’, comes his statement back.
‘Master’, she replies.

And in that moment, it suddenly dawns,
he never truly died;
‘though taken to a wooden cross
and brutally crucified.

For death, it could not hold him,
his power was too great.
The Father made the son to rise,
and save us from our fate.

Such love as this cannot be quenched;
our Father’s for his son.
That through his death, our lives he bought,
and now in him are one.

He calls aloud to each of us,
for all he knows by name.
But have we called him ‘Master’,
when he has called our name?

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Knowing God's voice

If, like me, you struggle quite a lot with wanting to know what God's plan is for you. Not only that, but when you hear God speaking to you, you aren't entirely sure who it is; whether it's God, the devil, or just your wishful/pessimistic mind wandering after things.

It's important to remember 2 core things when it comes to discerning God's voice, when I have relevant scripture references, I will include them.

The first of them is: 'who is being glorified through the message?'

If it is God, he will be seeking HIS glory throughout the process he is describing - even if it seems ludicrous or painful to you. Remember;

'"For I know the plans I have you for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."' -- Jeremiah 29v11 --

God knows what he's up to, because it's part of his perfect plan for you; a plan which will prosper you in your life, and glorify his name at the same time. The enemy, on the other hand, will only ever seek to honour himself, build up your pride and dependance on other things as your rock. We cannot allow ourselves to be swayed by this, we must recognise God's promise (of eternal life) as having infite worth over anything the enemy suggest.

The second of them is: 'Is what I'm hearing said in love?'

Do not mistake nice-sounding phrases and words as speaking in love. The enemy will use any means possible to turn you from Christ, but he cannot ever speak in love as our Father can. He will speak in enticing ways, encouraging us gently along the way towards sin (or continuing in sin). He will entice us towards sin, with promises that 'this is good' or 'this will make you happy'

'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds' -- James 1v2 --

If God can make us joyful in our sufferings, then how much more will he make us joyful in the times of prosperity?!!

Thirdly and finally, 'Is what I'm being asked to do consistent with the God I know?'

In a way, this combines the previous questions, but this question moves us to come to the bible and compare what we've been asked to (and often with a reason - so question the speaker!) to the loving Heavenly Father that sent his son to die on a cross for us, only to conquer death to give us a sure hope of future glory!! God will lead you by the hand through the hard times, to a future that will glorify his name and prosper you in all areas of your life.

The enemy will do no such thing. He may suggest things will the premise that they're honouring to God, or more than likely, will twist a word that God's given you previousely (think back to the garden of Eden).

We can be sure though, that the more time we spend listening to the shepherd's voice, the better we shall know his voice. The greater the time we spend immersed in hiw word, the better we shall know his character. In short, every verse we read, every minute we listen our creator, we have a better picture of our Lord God to compare messages against.

A final note. If you are getting mixed ideas from left, right and centre, remember:

'Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.' -- James 4v7 --

Our Father God is our only safe place against the enemy. If we call on the Lord faithfully, he will answer us. Only he has the power to nullify the enemy, to silence the serpent's tongue and open our ears to hear his voice clearly. It might be we need to come before God in situations like this, and ask him to unstop our ears - we need to receive what God tells us into our hearts, not just hear it and nod appreciatively. If we submit to Christ, he will nullify the enemy, and make his message clear; we just need to have the patience to wait on him for it.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


How I LOVE reading other peoples' poetry, praisings of God and heart-felt humility. This poem is one of those, inspired by another's words: in this case, Ceryn Oakes >> I will praise you >> as for my poem, a name'd be great, but that's not important! May we all be reminded of & take to heart, our loving, patient, all-forgiving Father.


'In the stillness of calm
It is you that I seek
No other can satisfy this heart
As you do, my king

In the heat of the day
When it seems time’s far too short
There is yet time for you
By you may I always be taught

In the dark of the night
And the dark of my heart
You ransomed by soul
That we may ne’er by apart

In the light of this dawn
As the chains melt away
My arms I shall raise
You’re name I shall say

For none is there like you
None other in love
None other in power
Could break these chains off

For no matter the place
No matter the time
You stand by my side
You shall always be mine

And these chains, oh such joy
I can hardly contain,
Are broken for EVER
Never to be worn again!

For the price has been paid,
My heart is set free
And I fall to the floor
On bended knee

To say, ‘Holy, the name
Of my Lord Jesus Christ;
For my life now is new
He has paid the price’

In the storms of my life
Or in the peace of your heart
It matters not, for you’re there
Praise my Lord, oh my heart'

Monday, October 31, 2005


Reading a post of a friend of mine, Cat, led me to this poem. Her original post is here: Halloween. Halloween takes place this evening, and I find it so sad to the point of anger that people just don't understand what is truly behind this night. This poem aims to speak the truth of Halloween, exposing the evil beneath the surface of costumes and trick-or-treating. Be struck, be challenged, be reminded of who we serve as our master, friend and saviour.


Halloween, the druids’ scene,
Night of evil here again.
Why suppose would man impose
Upon his day this shame?
Knows not the meaning of this night
For else he would relent
That in celebrating all-hallow’s eve,
A wicked message sent:
That man would worship things of stone
And in these place their stock?
And celebrate such trust in these
Of wood and fire and rock

Yet behind these ways an evil sways
Of chanting druids long ago
When pagan rights detest the sight
Of all but one old foe
For only he, whom souls can take
Is benefactor of this scene
The devil set these things in flight
Without this modern-day sheen

Let not the veil of costumes hide
The darkness of the truth
For no hand of God is seen within
These parties of our youth
For when we conspire to joy in this
Our hearts are not with him
For why rejoice in evil things
When greater things are found in him?

Let us not be fooled, our minds a’blank
Of what lies in this night
This enemy’s power travels deeper than
The trick-or-treating fright
Worship not this king of night
This slippery liar of old
For even now he seeks to play his hand
And in time steal your soul

Know the truth and make your stand
For by your heart, your life is scanned

Saturday, October 29, 2005

God's irrefutable will

My quiet time this morning caused me to meditate on John 19v31 which reads as follows:

'Now it was the day of preparation, and th enext day was to be
a special Sabbath. Because the Jews did not want the bodies to
be left on the crosses during the sabbath, they asked Pilate to
have the legs broken and the bodies taken down.'
-- John 19v31 --

As I read this verse, I was struck by air that the Jewish leaders must have been feeling in light of Jesus being on the cross. They would most likely have been congradulating themselves on the successful dealing-away-with of person who they'd discounted as being a troublemaker, someone who saught to break their hold on the people. Yet, in the midst of this, they had a special Sabbath to prepare for and as such their customs and laws brought them to order the bodies to be taken down. Little did they know that God was using this to prove that, yet again, Jesus had fulfilled another of the prophesies, for we find John quotes (from the old testament), shortly after this in 19v36:

'...Not one of his bones will be broken.'
-- John 19v36 --

And true to God's promises from way back in the Old Testament, none of Jesus bones were broken. Here's the good bit tho! Had the Jews not ordered the people on the cross taken down early, the other prisoners would not have had their bones broken, and the guards would not have noted Jesus to already be dead.

Thus we find, although the Jews had saught to kill and discredit Jesus, their ordering the guards to finish the bodies led to Jesus fulfilling a prophecy.

I was so encouraged by this, to be reminded that whatever the plans of man, whether good or evil, they cannot contradict or halt the fulfilling of God's promises. Taking this to heart helps us to realise that God's promises to us -- both from the Bible, and personal ones he's shared with us -- WILL come to pass. What we need, is patienc hearts that are faithful to trust him.

Sunday, October 23, 2005


Yet another poem hot off the press from 24/7 prayer week!! Man I love God SO much!!!! We had a worship session at about 1-2am on Friday and this was what came out of it as we were praying after :) Not so much a well-thought throught, methodical, revamped poem, but just a reflection on coming before God in worship and being struck with the question 'but how?'


Lord I sit before your throne
yet I know not what to say.
what words can sing such praises true
that wholly glorify your name?

So undeserved but yet such love
my praise to you I'd bring
yet my mouth can but in part express
the praise my heart would sing

The glories of your name, in word
can never full be said
yet through your power I find myself
by your spirit, led

So Lord, with heart upon your name,
I thank you now for who you are
your love unparalled, love so pure,
that wipes the sin that marrs.

I praise you Lord for you are good,
your word has never let me down,
your faithfulness is matched by none
your name holds the highest renown

Your plan is good, your promises true,
my side, I know, you'll never leave.
To think that I might love an other
my heart can not believe

My future's safe in you, my lord,
my place in rule with you
for' one day I shall stand beside
and rule as you now do

such inheritance I know is mine,
but how hard to believe
that you loved me o'er e'en your son
this mind cannot conceive

Thus I find myself once more,
overwhelmed by your grace.
This love, though I can't comprehend
has paid this this sinner's place

So I savour now your presence sweet,
aware of none but you
for only through your father's love
can I live my life for you

I seek your way, in this my life,
my it chart along your course
for I shall rest in this, as sure:
I know that I am yours

Friday, October 21, 2005

Scandelous love

I have to say that I have sorely missed 24/7 prayer! Last night I spent 10pm-4.30am in prayer/worship/praise with a group fo 7 guys and girls. We spent a time in contemplation before the cross, with the option of having our hands washed as an aid in remembering what Christ accomplished for us there. And that's where this poem has come from - considering the cross, and the incredulous nature of God's love for us. Scandelous love indeed.

Scandelous love

What blood is this, what wash the stain?
Infinite love, for eternal gain.
a son's pure heart for prodigal kind
judgement's cost to free this mind
mercy shown to one as this?
the Father bestows a heavenly kiss.
The son descends that I may live
that eternal life I may receive
Crimson care of countless depth
Father's love of measureless breadth.
To die a death of lonely pain
and power raised to life again!
Such love I scarce can understand
God's son upon a cross, for man

Monday, October 17, 2005

Shouldering your cross

As I did my quiet time this morning, I read the account in John where Jesus, 'Carrying his own cross, went out to the place of the skull (which in Aramaic is Golgotha' (John 19v17), and I was deeply moved with Jesus' attitude towards his duty and passion. As Christians, we often speak of taking up our cross as if it were a burden/trial, when the truth of the matter is that Jesus' walk, towards to the hill where he knew he was going to die, speaks of a number of things different to this.

God laid several things on my heart regarding our attitude towards taking up our cross. They are, that we should take up our cross:

Daily - there's no such thing as a weekend or CU-Chrisitian. We are called each and every day to serve God. This means a daily dedication to serve God, first thing in the morning til last thing at night. If we are only living for God, or 'giving him' Sundays and bible study meetings, then we cannot have truly understood what we are living for!! We are called to serve God, not out of bondage or duty, but because we are now 'Slaves to Righteousnes' (Romans 6:14-19), living under and in God's Grace.

Faithfully - God does not expect us to carry our cross on our own, as if he were one of the crowd watching, booing and cursing as we walk by. No, he is the one who steps out of the crowd, endures the booing for our sake, and helps us carry it. If we take up our cross, God is faithful to give us the strength of character, heart, mind and soul to be faithful to him in our lives.

Humbly - The cross is not a status-symbol. When we take up our cross and follow Jesus each day, this is humbly and in great awe of who Jesus is, and what he accomplished on the cross for us. If we do boast, then let it be in the cross (Galatians 6:14) and in what Jesus achieved for us through it.

Joyfully - This was the most challenging aspect of my quiet time this morning. Why should & how do we shoulder our cross joyfully? We should do this, because in Joy, there is a large element of willingness to do it. We do this, not because we have to, but because we have a passion to grow in and live for our Lord and saviour. We should do this joyfully because this is an outworking of God's love in our life. As for how? It comes down to 'What is your heart focussed on?' If it is on the praise and recognition of other people, then the joy will not be there. 'You cannot serve two masters'. To joyfully serve God, I have come to realise that we must have our hearts in the right place firstly. It is only then that we follow humbly, faithfully, daily and joyfully. With our hearts set on God, carrying the seemingly cruel (at times) cross-beam of our faith, becomes the humbling awe-inspiring daily walk that it ought to be.

Never lose the wonder of the cross - it shows love incarnate, beyond our understanding. Never forget, that the reason God loved us that much to send his son, and still loves us now, is because we are, and always have been, his.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Sunrise from the eyes of my heart

Sorry it's bin a while guys & gals, but here we are :) the title explains this poem in a nutshell. I wrote this after I'd done my bible meditation a few mornings ago and just sat there wanting to praise God, it being morning, the sun was going to rise soon-ish and thus here we are.

Sunrise from the eyes of my heart

'Upon the glorious wings of dawn
I see a day revealed to me.
Rays of new light fill my eyes
as birds a a heavenly chorus sing.
None other than a maker's hand
could craft a sight as this.
Such care and beauty shown to all,
I find myself enamoured still.
As tides within me rise atop
the patient silence of my mind,
to sing my praise to him, who with one hand
painted every fleeting ray that dance before my eyes.
Oh what deep hued tones, what glory this,
my mind cannot compr'end.
The spectrum of my saviour's love,
painted upon the canvas of the heavens.
I can but watch, I dare not speak,
for here I see my creator speak.'

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Strength for Trust

Evening all, yet again God's given me time to reflect this evening before bed. My future after uni's been something of a big thing between me and God of late. It goes roughly like this:

'God I trust you with this, I just don't know. Thanks for taking it. I trust you.'
'Well, actually God, I kinda have this idea, it sounds good doesn't it?!'
God: 'trust me, I'll lead you.'
Repeat ad-nausea.

Suffice to say God's been firm with me on this and through this has shown me that through trusting him entirely with our troubles and worries, he helps us through them, and promises to grant the strength we need for each day. How GREAT, is our God.

Strength for Trust

As I walk beneath this starry sky
I know not of his plans
but I wish for once this mind of mine
would leave them in his hands

It seems so easy ev'ry day
to take upon myself these cares
in spite, in every thing and every way
he says, 'your heavy load I'll bear'

These things I ponder mark my life
as anxious poc-marks on my soul
yet there he is to quell my strife
when worries seek to take their toll

He promises such peace as this
and yet I still retain these cares
for what once was but good can sour quick
and rapidly become a snare

Yet even THEN, he calls by name
this tattered soul I call my own
reminds me of his love, the same
that made my every nerve and bone

Those hands that shaped me in the womb
that cared enough to make me whole
those hands that made an empty tomb
a gate to raise my ransomed soul

Tis crazy now to think that we
afirmed in Christ our King
would trust in less than only he
our own tribute to sing

It's true, yet nuts. Thus let us turn
one heart for him, one mind to know.
Our king to seek, his way to yearn
and in HIS strength, to go.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

All I ask is you

How awesome it is when God hits you between the eyes with something. It's amazing how something so profound from God can be such a simple idea, yet here it is. God spoke to me very strongly recently about my attitude to serving him, in my service and witness in all areas of my life. And then he hit me with it: he doesn't want us to primarily bring all our efforts before him, he wants a heart, willing to serve him. We might well unequipped, uncertain, scared, but he wants us as we are. It's him that works his power and spirit through us, not visa versa.

All I ask is you

'I try, you see Lord, try my best.
I do all I can do
to walk the way you lay before,
the way YOU want me to.
I give my all to worship you;
my words, my voice, my song.
But for once I wish I'd hear your voice
your word's for what I long.

I try to help all I can find,
I give all I can give.
but sometimes, taking all this flak,
I fear this life I live you
I know that you're sufficient, but
this life just seems so tough.
No matter what I strive to do
it never seems enough.

Sometimes I wonder where you are
with all these seeds I've sown
yet when I give my all for you
why do I feel I'm all alone?

"When, oh when, beloved son,
have e'er I saught your strength?
Your praises loud, in tuneful song?
Your prayers of endless length?
These things I may seek in good time,
but first this must be true:
I seek your hear, your mind, your all.
All I ask is you.

A heart on fire with love for me,
yet patient to my lead.
A mind athirst for more of me,
receiving as I feed.
A soul attuned to share my heart
and by my spirit led.
An attitude of servitude,
the olf self buried, dead.

Yet all these things in time I'll hone,
your life shall follow, true.
Along this path, give me your will,
for all I ask, all I need, all I seek
is you." '

Saturday, July 23, 2005


It's amazing what you find in your loft. While clearing it out during our moving-of-house, I stumbled across something I wrote just after one of my A-level maths exams. It's a paragraph on poetry, of all things. It's a fairly accurate description of how I view poetry; see what you think :)

'Poetry is a way of expressing youself. A means by which you can utter the very inner cry of your soul, and not utter a word. A vehicle for the mind, a silent song. A poem has no tune, yet is memorable because it is tuneful to the soul; an orchestra of words, the music of message and a conductor of inner being all combine. These combine to produce a symphony of enrapture, intrigue and originality. A delight to the mind and a seasoning to the soul.'

Please pray that God would continue to take the words I write and use them for HIS glory :)

Tim :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Yes people, I desperately need titles and themes for my poems. 'Why??' I hear you call, well it's simply because I need to have a title or theme to write on and on the whole, I lack these.

So, please comment this post when ever you have an idea, even a vague one.

Much appreciated!!

Tim :)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The London Bombings

I have to admit that I approached the writing of this poem with much trepidation, as it's based around the horrific bombing that took place 2 weeks ago Thursday in London. Part of me leaped for joy when Cat mentioned the idea to me 2 days ago over MSN, showing others the hope amidst the darkness. Part of me was very daunted indeed. But here I sit at 11.56 pm having just written this poem under God's inspiration. A title has been suggested, which I'm going with: 'one' Thanks :)


'Stare into a starlit sky and wonder why
God would choose to let us live if we must die.
One day of terror tears our hearts
with loved ones, now a world apart.
So many things bombard my mind,
But then I realise;
That there’s one mind that sees all this
And says we’re not just passer’s-by.

One hand, which guides us to his peace
No matter storms that we shall brave.
One heart of love, ne’er bound to cease
A love that never took, but freely gave.
One man that stood upon a cross
That we might see the Father’s face.
One Father sees us; broken, lost,
And brings us whole into his place.

One plan that leads us to his cross
That we may share in his new life
One plan that shows us what is worth
When all we see is strife.
One love that speaks as others can’t,
When all our love collapses, dead
One hand that guides us to the light
And breaks us from our dark of dread
One rock we can depend upon
Despite this world’s tempestuous times
One way that we can walk in hope
Amidst horrific man-based crime.

One truth that we can hold up high
And stand against this world of hate
One hope that we can stand upon
Before our time’s too late.

So, though these question rack my mind
I know at last I understand;
That though our paths are woven tight
With sorrow joining joy in hand,
Our walks are ones of trust and faith
All this we know is in his plan.
And that is where we stock our hope
In Christ’s eternal plan.'

Back from the depths of somewhere...

Hello all

Am mucho sorry I haven't been at my blog for an aweful long while. I am about to embark upon writing a new poem, inspired by one Cat Hare of Surrey Uni, so watch this space!!

In the mean time, stay strong in Christ all my brothers and sisters in Christ. May he continue to be your rock in stormy times, light in the dark; ever forgetting the hope we have in him. Hallelujah!!!


Friday, June 03, 2005

free at last

greetings and hallucinations!!

I can happily say that exams are over, but praise the Lord for his faithfulness. I must share how much God has worked in my life through exams and work over the last 5 weeks - it has been SUCH an encouragement to me!!

At the beginning of this term, I was faced with the prospect of 3 assignments to complete and hand in - one comprising HEAVY programming (complicated framework), and two of circuit-boards. Each had a 4000 word report tag attached to it. On top of this, I then had to revise all of my modules in time for my exams during weeks 4-6. If you have ever found yourself in a situation like this, then read on, I hope and pray that you find encouragement and a renewed hope in my testimony of this term.

I came to the realisation that in order to come through this term, I would need more than an act of me to complete this. God reminded me of the passage that says, "What is impossible with man, is possible with God." Through this God showed me that this term would have to be a case of total reliance on him. Week one was quite tough I'll admit, learning to bring all my work before God and seek him for the strength and determination to see it through. More than this though, what surprised me was that God reminded me that I needed to honour him in all areas of my life - and that he had brought me to Reading University to serve HIM there with my degree.

He showed me that in order to walk in his strength, I needed to not just work hard but to rejoice in the fact that God has called me, and you, to serve him with a whole heart in whatever we are doing. Whether is be academic work, our daily bible meditation or having coffe with a mate - we are called in ALL situations to serve HIS name first.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he SHALL make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3v5 --

These words have been a sound reminder this past 5 weeks of God's never-ending, inexaustable, undeniable, indescribable care and love for us. Praise his name that he is so faithful and loving where we let him down so much!! Hallelujah!!!

Stay strong brothers and sisters, never forget the faithfulness or the Grace that we walk under and in every day of our lives. Rain or shine, work or rest, coffee or tea, God is with you.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Sunsets, Prayer and Peace

All these things have been themes in poems I am writing at the moment. Unfortunately, none of them are in a form that I'd want to publish on my blog, but I am very excited about writing them.

Looking at a Sunset and seeing our Creator God's hand on it, Knowing the Power of prayer and the hopeit gives us through God's strength, and then there's God's Peace. Where to even start in describing his Peace in troubled times in our lives. If only there were a word that could describe the feeling that you feel when God lays his hand on you and gives you his Peace.

One day though, we can look forward to when he will give us words and a voice that will be able to ascribe to him the greatness that is due his name. Until then, and until my next post, I shall hopefully, and in his time, complete these poems as a reflection of something of him.

** Don't forget, my poems are stored on the right hand side of the page **

God bless, my bros & sis's, stay strong in our Father in whom ALL things are possible :)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Night Sky

Though written back in January 05, the words from this poem just go to show how God's awesome imagination and creativity in creation can fuel a mind and heart to praise his name! Thus, 'The Night Sky' was born out of a desire to describe and praise him for the beauty and expanse of the Universe that we can see from our humble planet.

The Night Sky

Twinkling, sparkling, small and bright
Pin-pricks in a sea of black
beacons nestled in the sky
lighting up a darkness, void
of any shine of glimmering hope
that we might wish to glance above.
Slow apearing, pitch-black nearing,
dark is crowded out by light.
Speckled clusters grace the gaze
as timeless wonders edge to view
Keen and fiery, poenix's eirie,
birthplace of ten thousand songs.
Stars now shooting, heart saluting
grand designs as seen above.
Not chance or fate nor lady luck,
none other than an artist's touch.
Awe now feeling, mind still reeling,
rapture steals the breath from you.
Then time stops. Behold the sky;
Eternity's dance, in the blink of an eye.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Once again

This poem spawned straight out of my morning bible meditation in John, where's God's departing words to me were 'once again, I shall be with you'. The words therefore remind us that despite the fact we mess up afresh every day, without exception, our God has love enough, and beyond, to forgive us and keep us in him.

Once again

Once again I've walked the road
I know I shouln't take.
Once again I've spoken words
that cause my soul to shake.
Once again I've thought the things
that do not praise his name.
Once again I've pondered now
if I'm just the same?
Once again I've served myself
and let my brothers/sisters down.
Once again I took the path
that gained not God's, but my renown.
Once again I see my life
and break down in my soul
Once again I've failed my Lord
and tripped into the hole.
But once again he turns to me
and looks into my eyes.
Once afain he sees my heart
and how my soul there cries.
Once again he lays his hands
upon my broken soul
and once again he wipes my sin,
makes me clean and whole.
Once again he takes my feet
and puts them on his way.
Once again he takes my hand
and tells me, "Come what may,
Once again my love has covered
all you've done, so don't forget
that once again my son has paid
the highest price to cleat your debt.
Once again you're clean and new
so take my hand and follow me
once again, and by my voice,
my way you'll walk, my glory see."
So once again I walk the road
I know in him is true,
and once again on Heaven gaze
standing, once again, made new.

A love that spans eternity

The words to this poem simply came to me during the last 10 minutes of a flight up to Edinburgh recently. So when everyone else had everything stowed away and their tray tables up, I had my notebook and pencil out, scribbling away :) This poem is very much a reflection on how amazingly different the Love God has for us is, from anthing we could ever experience on Earth.

A love that spans eternity

Look into his eyes and see
a love that spans eternity.
Not limited by state of mind
but different from some earthly kind.
Dependant not on mankind's care
or fleeting things which charm the eyes,
a life he offers us to share
a life of truth, devoid of lies.
For, as he came to give us hope
and emptied him of all but love,
from heavenly throne, a cross to stoop;
this price was paid, enough for us.
That we might come before the king
and prostrate at his feet then fall
then on this day arise in him
to live with purpose by his call.
A promise made, a pact then sealed
for all eternity made new.
God came and paid for our appeal
and spotless, we may stand on Truth.
Look into his eyes and see
this love that spans eternity.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

returned from spring harvest 05

Hi guys, sorry for the lack of updates over the last 2 weeks, I have had the priviledge of being able to work with 5-7s at Spring Harvest this year for a whole 2 weeks!! We saw at least 7 kids come to Christ, and the whole team was enthused throughout the time - praise God!!!

I shall be posting a poem soon about Jesus being our defense before God in the court of eternity. I'm in the process of re-drafting it before posting it, so be patient!

In the mean time, be encouraged, that no matter what the enemy throws at you, our Heavenly Father's power and grace are sufficient for everything :)

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Hope in hard times

I have written this poem having come through a tough time in my mind and heart where I felt totally lost and confused. As I cried out to God to help show me how I felt, the first four lines of this poem came to me - so I wrote them down :) by God's guidance in opening my heart, the rest of this poem came to be, tonight. If you are lost/confused/rejected/down, I hope and pray that this poem reminds you of the depth of the Love God has always had & will continue to have for you.

Hope in hard times

You get knocked down, but he picks you up.
You trip and fall, but he helps you stand.
When lost and astray, he shows you the path;
even through the aftermath.
You walk there, 'alone', but he walks with you.
You feel unloved, but his love is true.
And though in the valley, your steps starts to slow,
your heart perhaps falters and you lose where to go,
it's then that he carries you, holds you once more,
shows you the way, he promises as sure,
gathers you close as he hears your heart's cry,
cradles your face, wipes the tear from your eye,
and says, 'Son/Daughter, I love you, so never forget
the randsom you accepted, that day we first met.
When love was poured out as my gift from above,
it was you I was saving -- this is my love.
Though my path may be narrow, and no piece of cake,
I shall always be faithful, I shall never forsake.
For this is my promise: I shall always be there.
I shall walk by your side, however you fare.'
Though you feel alone, (and may think this is true),
turn your gaze to his face, your heart poured out anew;
for he shall meet with you there, 'cos where you walk he has trod.
Be still, here and now, and know he's your God.

A presentation

all of you guys who've ever done a presentation, this one's for you! Written, 5 minutes before I stood up and helped do our 15 min group presentation, I was remarkably OK considering the nature of the poem!

A presentation

Calm and serenity,
where have you gone?
my palms start to sweat
as the others go on.
The time fast approaching
when I'll have to stand;
my hands then will tremble,
my calm will disband,
the words I'll forget
and my mouth will go dry.
Nout will come out
no matter how hard I try!
Then I'll break down and weep,
crying out 'please, no more!'
I'll turn to hand over
and pass out on the floor.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Getting up

Here's one for all you students out there :) I wrote this in a 9am 'passive filters' lecture, and yes, I AM a morning person! I dedicate this poem to Tom Waddell, Chris Butler, Cat Hare and my dear mother :)

Getting up

'What's that buzzing in my ears?
it wasn't there a while ago
happily in dreams I was
but do I really have to go?
I could get up, do something useful,
wash my face and force a smile;
but then again I've time to spare
I'll put it off, for just a while.
Darn that buzzer, there it goes
I'll hit the 'snooze', oh, just once more;
'I need my sleep', I tell myself,
'If working, all I'd do is snore!'
Buzz buzz? OK that's it, I'm up!
I've sat up now, I'm feeling bold
But wait, the bed's so nice and warm,
and yes the floor looks awefulyl cold...
I'll snuggle down for just a while
and psych myself to test the floor,
'cos once I get my slippers on
it's not that far to reach the door.
Right, that's it, I must be brave,
don my slippers, quick, can't stop,
move to grab my dressing gown
and quickly glance to check the clock.
It's ten past nine, I'm late for lectures,
guess I'll get the one at ten.
I'll snuggle down for forty winks,
I've got some time 'til then.'