Monday, March 13, 2006

Essay definitions

Aye up all, it's been 5 days since my last post so I feel something fun is well overdue. I'm just coming to the end of writing a very exciting (not) essay all about open software, open hardware, open data standards, hardware & software patents & something else I can't remember...

anyhoo, you get the idea, there's a whole load of jargon in there which has taken me about 16 hours of google-bashing to elicit enough facts and links for my essay. Soooo, I've decided to help you all out with my very own jargon-buster for this essay.


  • (i) Any item of clothing, ranging from baby gloves to hand-knitted balaclavas.
  • (ii) Any item of clothing that lasts under a month, e.g. cheap trainers, or slippers in a house with a dog.
  • (iii) The feeling, when sleeping in a guest bed/travel inn bed, that you're never going to find that patch of bed that will allow you to get off to sleep before 3am.
  • Clothing again, but harder. you know, like, err... like climbing shoes or baby mits in a concrete box.
Open Software:
  • Buy woolen undergarment, remove packaging. Voila. you now have open software.
Open Hardware:
  • As with open software, but with Doc Martins, a hard hat, or a rock overcoat.
Open Source Software:
  • The result of giving a bottle of ketchup to a baby with sparkling white clothing.
Open Source Hardware:
  • Attemping to open a bottle of Daddies brown sauce using nothing but an electric screwdriver or another (in)appropriate power tool.
  • The act of purchasing a knock-down living structure, useful for mountains, team-building excursions, or the back garden if you over-ordered on guests for that new years party of yours.
Well, that's all folks, I've got to get back to finishing this industry-demolishing, trend-setting beastie of an essay. Why not astound your friends with your new wealth of knowledge on Open Software and Patents??!




if computers are idiot-proof, why can't I make them work...

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